3 Steps For Filling The Post 50’s Empty Hole In Your Heart
Often when I begin working with single women over 50, they share with me that one of the hardest parts of being alone…is the feeling they have of an empty hole inside themselves.
And they’ll tell me the only way to fill this emptiness is with a man and a relationship in their life.
When you’re not in a relationship, it can feel like everywhere you go…
All you see are couples holding hands, kissing, and whispering in each other’s ear the private jokes they share.
It can make you feel as if your life is incomplete.
Want to know a secret?
A lot of those married women would love to be in your shoes.
They’d love to have the freedom you have in your life where you are only accountable to you and no one else.
In my 40’s, I can remember coming out of a long relationship feeling kind of lost and very alone.
My kids were in college and I had no family living in the same city as me.
My life had been turned upside down.
Instead of being part of TWO…I was now just ONE and I was having a hard time adjusting to my new status.
I shared this with a married friend of mine…who gave me great advice when she said, “Enjoy this time of getting to know you again. Once you’re back in a relationship, you’ll wish you’d had more of it.”
This was great advice but I was at a loss for finding me again.
All I wanted to do was be part of a couple once more.
Then one day, I woke up and it’s as if while I was sleeping, I was given a message by my higher power for what to do to overcome this lack of love I was feeling in my life.
I want to share with you these 3 steps that worked so well for getting me back into life and love again.
If you do them, I know they can work for you too!
Step #1
After a relationship ends, you feel like you’re missing “love” in your life…. this is happening because you’re looking outside yourself to find that love again.
Even though you may think it’s about finding the right man… he really can’t fill this part for you.
He can bring love to your life but it’s up to you to find love within yourself first.
So, how do you do this?
In relationship, you can get so out of touch with what you love doing.
For years, you may have bent like a pretzel to accommodate what the man in your life wanted to do….allowing his wants and desires to trump yours.
Well…now it’s time to rediscover what excites you.
Start by making a list of all the things you love to do in life and start doing them.
This may be hard at first. But I know you can do it!
You’ll want to keep adding to your list as you rediscover this part of yourself again.
Step #2
Next you’ll want to make a list of all the people in your life you love.
Since you are NOW looking for love to start inside of you, this is about who you love….not about who loves you…
Otherwise you’re back to looking for love outside you again.
Here’s an example….
I love my granddaughter with all my heart and it’s so easy to tap into those feelings of love inside myself when I think of her.
My heart just opens up.
You’ll want to feel this type of warm fuzzy love about everyone you put on your list
Step #3
Julia Cameron created a book called “The Artist’s Way.” In it she suggests going on “Artist’s Date’s” with yourself.
What’s so cool about this exercise is you don’t have to be an artist to do it.
It’s about taking 2-4 hours weekly to do the fun things you’ve wanted to do but haven’t done yet.
I can remember going to the Botanical Gardens here in Cleveland and sitting in the Rain Forest listening to the water spilling over the rocks… while watching the gorgeous butterflies float from leaf to leaf.
I remember walking out of there filling renewed and refreshed.
Artist Dates are great to do whether or not you are in a relationship.
As a woman, you often over give your energy to others and this is a great way to recharge and refill the energy you’ve given away.
As you fill yourself up doing the things you love to do in life while enjoying the friends and family you love, you’ll find that empty hole closing more and more.
You’ll begin to radiate with the deepest love that shines from within you for the world to see and that’s when you’ll attract a good man into your life.
Getting a guy is pretty hard when you feel empty inside and that’s why these 3 steps are so important to incorporate into your dating life.
I would love to hear about who and what fills your heart. I hope you’ll post a comment by clicking this button.
Until next time…Lots of love and hugs to you!
Believing in You!
Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .
💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.
If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:
1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.
2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, "The Winning Dating Formula." It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.
3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.
4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.
Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹
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Copyright© 2024 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.
As usual, great advise, Lisa!!! You are helping so many women!!! God bless you!
You are so welcome Barbara.
In my marriage, I never felt the need to stop doing what I loved in order to please my husband. We had a lot of together time and a lot of separate time but I understand this is rare. I could tell that I was in a bad relationship later on when there was pressure to stop being me. I eventually bailed. What saddens me is the unequal playing field amongst older men and women. As long as a man keeps himself reasonably together, he will find another fast, generally a woman at least as successful as he if not more so and in great shape. Older women are expected to be successful, often morph ourselves into something we are not, are expected to look exceptional for our age, and often expected to settle. Once the marriage/relationship breaks up, you are thrust into an unwinnable situation.
Hi Lisa. I agree with what you said about filling the empty hole. I was in a relationship for 3 years. It was on & off. Good & bad. Finally it ended. I thought what did I do wrong? It took me over year to figure it out. I was depressed, didn’t date, thought it was my fault the relationship didn’t work. Finally I had enough of self pity. I spent more time with family & my grandson & realized I am loved & I don’t need a man to feel that. I joined a gym. I feel so much better about myself. Then it came to me that it was him not me. He was the liar & cheater but I was so blind at the time I didn’t see it. I suspected. But now it is so clear. A learning experience. I now know what to look for in future relationships. I enjoy your posts very much. D