Friend: “Do you want to jump off that bridge?”
You: “No!” (at least not without a bungee cord)

Colleague: “Will you work 24/7 for a week straight?”
You: “No!”

Friend: “Want to walk from New York to California?”
You: “No!” (unless your an ultra athlete or passionate about a cause)

Colleague: “You need to take a 50% pay cut.”
You: “No!”

Sometimes it is obvious and easy to say “no” but other times, this short word is one of the hardest to say. Yet when you don’t say “no” to some tasks, you end up with schedule-overwhelm.

One of the best remedies for task-overwhelm is learning to say “no.” It takes practice to feel comfortable uttering “no.” It’s especially hard when the request is something you’d like to do but are unable to due to time constraints. Here are some practice statements:

To a volunteer opportunity or an event you don’t want to attend

1. “My schedule is totally full right now, I’m sorry.” You don’t have to say what it is full with.
2. “While I’d love to help out, my calendar doesn’t have any openings right now.” Don’t elaborate.
3. “It sounds like a great event, but I’m not open at that time.” This can be said even if the time is “booked” as personal time.
4. “I appreciate your confidence in my abilities, while I’m not able to make the time commitment for <x>, I can help with <task that takes less time.>”
5. “I’m not able to make new time commitments, have you checked with Sue or Bob?”

To a task in the workplace

1. “Joe already has me working on Project LMN. We can talk with him to see if the schedule can be changed or you and I can look for an alternative deadline.”
2. “That sounds like a great project but my time is spoken for until Project FGH is finished.” Don’t elaborate.
3. “I won’t be able to be in charge of the company baseball team this year, but maybe Jane can do it. I can play in a couple of games.”
4. “Thank you for having confidence in me. I’d really like to get additional training before I take on such a task.”
5. “I really enjoyed the office party last year, unfortunately, that time is already booked on my calendar.” This can be said even if the time is “booked” as personal time.

You’ll notice that none of the statements starts with “no.” That’s because the minute you say “no” the other person starts thinking of all the ways to persuade you to say “yes.” Instead, you declined the opportunity by giving a short statement with one reason you won’t be able to say “yes.”

A few other keys:

• Stand your ground. The person may try all sorts of persuasive techniques. Don’t argue back, just restate your initial response. After a couple of minutes, make a graceful exit.
• Toss the guilt. You may have scheduled a massage or nap. It doesn’t matter why you’re not available. Preserving “you” time (and your sanity) is important. Don’t be guilted into saying “yes.”
• Practice, Practice, Practice. You need to create and practice a few statements that feel comfortable to you. If nothing else, have one generic answer like, “I need to check my schedule. Can I get back to you in a couple of days?” If they say that they need to know immediately, then say, “I’m not able to give an answer right now, so I’ll have to decline the opportunity.”

Still need some help decluttering your schedule? I recommend The Disease to Please by Harriet B. Braiker, Ph.D. In addition to having lots of great information about minimizing the people-pleasing habit (a reason why people say “yes” instead of “no”), it contains The 21-Day Action Plan for Curing the Disease to Please. You will find additional information about Setting Real Boundaries in the area of time management at our Flexible Structure Method website. I also offer Organizer Coaching services around organizing time. See Ordered Minds for more information. Don’t stay stuck in schedule-overwhelm, take a proactive step today!