Part of the Parenting For Success series
In 2014, when my interview with Dr. Tim Elmore of Growing Leaders on 7 Crippling Parenting Behaviors That Keep Children From Growing Into Leaders went viral on Forbes (6.8 million views to date), I knew we’d hit a huge nerve. Both Tim and I are not only consultants around these issues, but parents too, and we live these challenges of doing our best to raise happy, healthy, and productive young adults who are prepared and excited to contribute to society at the level they wish to.
So when Tim shared with me new research he’s conducted about the key negative or unproductive traits and behaviors of first-year professionals, I listened.
Here’s what Tim shared:
Kathy Caprino: Tim, what has your research revealed about some common unproductive or negative behaviors of first-year professionals?
Tim Elmore: We’ve found the majority (over 75%) of employers perceive young adults as not only unready for the workplace, but they bring with them unhealthy assumptions about jobs. In one study, employers said they left 50 percent of their job openings for young team members unfilled because the candidates were unprepared. In other words, the jobs were ready but the young adults weren’t.
After surveying employers and recent graduates, seven negative habits and attitudes surfaced in the young candidates:
1. Unwillingness to start at the bottom. Many said they felt entitled to high-level jobs since they had a degree. They felt some jobs were “beneath” them.
2. Little patience and tenacity. Graduates assumed they’d be promoted within six months, including raises and perks…without much effort.
3. Challenged by authority. A majority reported they struggled with policies and parameters they didn’t understand. They felt systems were confining.
4. Lack of initiative. Young staff failed to demonstrate risk-taking abilities. There was apprehension about stepping out and leading the way.
5. Poor work ethic. Grads lacked old-fashioned grit, expressing unwillingness to serve beyond the job description; to do whatever it takes to get a task done.
6. Irresponsibility. They’re unable or unwilling to assume sole responsibility for their work. It was as if they wanted to “rent” their job, not own it.
7. No conflict resolution skills. A majority of young adults failed to learn to work through conflict; they’re prone run from it instead of resolve it.
While I recognize this list sounds harsh, employers agree these traits are sabotaging young team members. I believe supervisors have every right to expect robust soft skills—since they’re within reach of every twenty-something. They’re not about talent, IQ or charisma, but proper habits and attitudes.
WATCH: Business Tricks 20-Somethings Are Missing
Caprino: Can you offer an explanation for why these are so damaging, and some tips to overcome these traits/behaviors?
Elmore: The list above is certainly not comprehensive, but covers problems that parents, teachers and employers can intentionally help teens and twenty-somethings overcome. Here’s why they must revise these behaviors in order to succeed in the workforce:
They need to understand they're not the center of the universe.
Generally speaking, youth begin their careers at the bottom not the top. If they’ve grown up in a world where they were the center of attention, being praised for emptying the dishwasher, receiving trophies just for playing soccer…they’ll be unready for the “freshman year” of their career. We must combat entitlement. We must teach them that early tasks are about earning trust not parading talent. They may do well to learn to make the coffee. They must recognize that progress is an earned privilege, not an automatic right.
It won't come fast.
In today’s high tech world, kids grow up where much of what they want has come fast. Ours is a world of speed and convenience, compared to fifty years ago. Consequently, we must teach them one of our Habitudes® called: “Crock-pots and Microwaves.” Their career is like a slow cooker; things take time. They are not strange if it takes a while to get promoted. Plus, everything tastes better when prepared in a crock-pot instead of a microwave, right?
It's about being part of something bigger.Because young people have grown up in a day of self-expansion, with social media, “selfies” and doting helicopter parents, they must learn that work is not about “them” but about being part of something much bigger. This is the reward of life—to participate on a team, doing something that matters. We must teach them initiative, grit and sacrifice, enabling them to be “early birds” (who set the pace for others) not “mockingbirds” (who merely imitate others). This means we must match their passion by giving them a level of responsibility that will allow them to grow.
This is why I recommend getting teens started early with jobs. Instead of allowing them to become overwhelmed with soccer, karate, violin lessons and recitals, why not launch them in a part-time job? While they can learn discipline from sports and the arts, those are facsimiles of real work. Nothing takes the place of exchanging time and energy for a paycheck, where they are using their gifts to do something that contributes to their world.
Caprino: What would you say is a simple yet accurate description of what hiring managers truly need and want from young professionals today?
Elmore: We are committed to equipping students and young professionals with the habits and attitudes (we call them “Habitudes”) they need to flourish in their careers. The good news is, most HR managers are seeking soft skills that are accessible to everyone:
- Emotional intelligence
- Grit and work ethic
- Clear communication
- Initiative and responsibility
- Teamwork and collaboration
- Creative and critical thinking
Recently, a dad from a leadership development program we taught shared a story that made us both smile. He said, “My 25-year-old daughter just called me this month after arriving at her new job in Albuquerque. When I answered the phone, I asked what she needed. She just said, “Oh, I just called to say thanks.” I was pleasantly surprised. “Wow,” I responded, “for what?” “Oh, everything,” she mused.
When the father finally dug to discover the specific purpose of her call, his daughter finally blurted out: “Well…I guess I just called because I'm working with so many other young people in their twenties here who seem really confused about what they are doing, and don't have a good work ethic at all. I'm really grateful that you and mom got me so ready for my career, even though I know I fought you. I just wanted to thank you.”
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In my mentoring of young professionals, I see many of these same behaviors that Tim shares above. These challenges make it clear that our job as parents is about readying our children for growth, happiness, success and reaching their highest potential after they leave home. While it's not easy to do the work of preparing them for the real world (and they will often fight and resist us), it pays off in powerful ways that both parents and children can be proud of.
To learn more, visit Growing Leaders.
To build a happier career, take my Career Success Readiness Quiz and Amazing Career Challenge.
