I’ve already gone over the top 20 catchers for 2015 fantasy baseball, the top 20 1st basemen for 2015 fantasy baseball and the top 20 2nd basemen for 2015 fantasy baseball. Last year, I thought the top 20 shortstops for 2015 fantasy baseball looked a whole lot better than the 2nd basemen. I said that’s not usually the norm, but you gotta be malleable in this fantasy baseball game. Then going on to say I’d give a free car to a brother and sister who were named Norm and Malleable. No one won the car and I was pretty off with where I thought shortstops had depth. They showed up last preseason in a librarian’s outfit with red-rimmed glasses and seemed interesting. Then they turned around and it was Sally Jessy Raphael and we should’ve ran the other way. As with the other top 20 rankings, I point out where tiers start and stop and my projections. All the 2015 fantasy baseball rankings can be found under that thing that says 2015 fantasy baseball rankings. Unsuccinct! Anyway, here’s the top 20 shortstops for 2015 fantasy baseball:
1. Ian Desmond – Went over him in the top 20 for 2015 fantasy baseball.
2. Hanley Ramirez – Went over him in the top 20 for 2015 fantasy baseball.
3. Troy Tulowitzki – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until here. I call this tier, “Is there anyone else like Tulo? Rhetorical!” Okay, maybe there is one other guy like Tulo, Da O.G. CarGo; that’s about it. If Tulo stays healthy, he’s a top five player in fantasy baseball. You’re in an open field, and you get an idea. You want to start your own county fair. The first booth you’re going to open is “For a dollar, see a solar eclipse any time a day.” You then have people enter the booth and stand behind that “if” in “if Tulo stays healthy.” On the fo’really, doctors and trainers are just now starting to say that playing at a mile high elevation causes muscles to break down and takes an unnecessary toll on the body. It’s like a modern deal with the devil. “You can hit a pop up that will go for a home run, but when running to first you will pull your hammy.” Tulo should give three-quarters of a season that is terrific, then you’ll have to replace him. So, depending on how deep your league is, it makes Tulo more or less valuable. 2015 Projections: 79/24/88/.312/1
4. Jose Reyes – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Castro. I call this tier, “I’m getting some weird vapors.” This tier screams at me overrated and bound to disappoint. Wouldn’t be surprised to see all of these guys end up lower in the end-of-the-season rankings than they are here. Why didn’t I just lower them in the preseason rankings then, you ask with your child-like eyes. Well, inquisitive one, there’s a few reasons. A) Saying they’re going to disappoint is mostly just a gut call. B) There’s not a ton of guys that I feel more comfortable about. C) There’s no C. As for Reyes, a speedster that will turn 32 years old this year is asking for trouble, but he did steal 30 bases last year and only has one year under 125 games played and 20 steals in the last five years. Reyes doesn’t feel like a Rollins or Jeter-type, where he will keep playing deep into his 30’s, albeit not well. He feels like the kind of guy that will just disappear one year and never be the same. That’s why I’m likely not drafting him, I don’t want to be the last one in on Reyes while everyone else evacuates. 2015 Projections: 91/8/46/.281/27
5. Alexei Ramirez – The White Sox have the 2014 Rangers written all over them. Not like they all got drunk and someone wrote on them in Sharpie. As in, they’re a preseason juggernaut that disappoints to the nth degree. By the by, nth has a special place in everyone’s heart who plays Words With Friends. “Why won’t this stupid game give me a mothereffin’ vowel! Oh, wait, I have nth.” Go ahead, pfft. That’s another gem! 2015 Projections: 72/10/79/.277/23
6. Starlin Castro – Since everyone else in this tier has anecdotal reasons why I don’t trust them, let’s go for the trifecta! The Cubs finally get someone to bite (Hello, Yankees!) and Castro gets traded to a contender in July and everyone’s like, “Yo, Castro’s now the bomb dot gov, I wanna swing on a porch with him while we share a lemonade.” Then Castro disappoints on his new team, and ends up as their uninteresting 7-hole hitter. 2015 Projections: 71/16/80/.269/7
7. Xander Bogaerts – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Owings. I call this tier, “All right, now draft. Draft, I said!” This tier is not only where you have to draft, but it’s essentially your only chance to draft a shortstop. Sure, if someone in an earlier tier falls to you, then it’s fine, but I tend to focus on outfielders, corner men and a pitcher in the first 75 picks and that takes me to about where Bogaerts will be. Then after this tier, shizz gets ugly fast. You can punt completely your shortstop slot and I’ll get into that around Amarista’s tier, but if you want a definite shortstop while following my general drafting advice, this is the tier for it. As for Bogaerts, I could see a scenario where Hanley makes one recall Bernie Williams’s defense only without the panache of playing the guitar after every ball got past him. Then Hanley is forced to play short and Bogaerts becomes the most frustrating draft pick. That shouldn’t happen, but it’s out there in the ether. Either (stutterer!) way, Bogaerts has 20-homer power, 10-steal speed and the ability to be the top ranked shortstop in 2015. 2015 Projections: 69/15/74/.253/7
8. Danny Santana – You put Dannys Antana on an offensive powerhouse and everyone and their mother is talking about his probability of breaking out, especially Gaby Sanchez’s mother, Gaby Sr. Unfortch, he is on the Twins so expectations are in Czech. Maybe Prague. I don’t know, I’m not even sure I understand that cliche. Dannys doesn’t look like a 10-homer shortstop, but there’s an outside chance for it. He does have 30-steal speed, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see him put together a season comparable to Reyes. 2015 Projections: 89/9/39/.262/27
9. Jean Segura – Already went over my Jean Segura sleeper. I wrote it while telling a monkey to stop grinding his organ. 2015 Projections: 69/10/50/.272/35
10. Jimmy Rollins – Here’s what I said this offseason, “The Dodgers acquired him as a one-year rental. Ryne Sandberg was sad to see him go; he took a long time writing up his shit list and now has to draft a new one. One Dodgers beat reporter said that the Dodgers have been after Rollins for a long time. That makes sense. They probably wanted him back when he was great. In his career, Rollins hasn’t hit well in Dodger Stadium (.230, 3 HRs in 200 ABs), but that was facing Dodgers pitching, which is usually terrific, and that was as a visiting player, so I’m not that worried about those stats. I’m more concerned doode was born in the 1970’s. (Personally, I’m concerned being born in the 1970’s is old.) Rollins is so old he was born when we had a white president!” And that’s me quoting me! 2015 Projections: 89/11/61/.247/21
11. Elvis Andrus – As Kanye would say, in 2014, the entire Rangers team all fell down. Now, tell me that ain’t insecurr. No one’s year was carurr. That was basically the reason Andrus’s year looked about as attractive as that girl looked the morning after Halloween. “Hmm, maybe you put that goblin makeup back on.” If Fielder and Rios didn’t go straight ass, Andrus would’ve had his usual counting stats and looked relatively the same as past seasons. The Rangers don’t look that much better, but you can’t discount a guy too much due to counting stats. 2015 Projections: 81/5/49/.274/29
12. Alcides Escobar – See what I said on Andrus, only where I talked negatively about the Rangers offense replace it with positive thoughts on the Royals 2014 offense. Alcides and Andrus are virtually the same player. I will call them Alclones Elviscobar. 2015 Projections: 84/4/41/.271/28
13. Jose Ramirez – Quick and easy way to think of Ramirez is he’s Dannys Antana two years ago and hasn’t shown the ability to hit 8-10 homers. Also, Jose Ramirez has a John Doe-type Latino name. “Alguien extracto his fingers y dentures; ahora hombre es Jose Ramirez.” Mi Spanish es bien! 2015 Projections: 72/6/54/.279/24
14. Chris Owings – Here’s a little DVD commentary about the rankings. I originally ranked Owings ten spots later with the Amarista tier, then I started looking at Owings a little bit closer and I started thinking, “I’m getting hungry,” then after I ate something, I started thinking, “Owings should have a sleeper post written about him.” I haven’t done it yet, but as soon as I’m done with the rankings, I might try to slide one in. In Triple-A in 2013, he hit 12 HRs and stole 20 bases while hitting .330, then was called up last year and went hit six homers, stole eight bases and hit .261 in only 91 games. He doesn’t walk at all, but he does have solid speed, some light power and should play every day while the Diamondbacks try to fix all that Kevin Towers wrought. And he done wrought a lot. 2015 Projections: 61/10/64/.270/17
15. Erick Aybar – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Lowrie. I call this tier, “These guys sound good in theory. No, I’m not telling you to draft from the clothing store, Theory.” These guys all seem like safe bets in the preseason. Put it on the Don’t Pass Line and watch as the other rollers crap out. The only thing missing is no one outright boos you when you draft a safe bet. Also, in fantasy drafts when you draft safe, they’re hunky-dory until about mid-April when you want to drop them for a hot bat. Yeah, I used hunky-dory in a sentence, what’s it to you? 2015 Projections: 68/8/65/.272/17
16. Andrelton Simmons – A few scenarios could happen with Andrelton. He could hit 7 homers and a junky average like he did last year. He could bounce back to the 17-homer hitter he was in 2013. He could run like crazy as he did in the minors one year when he swiped 26 bases. He could pull off his earth skin, reveal his alien body, and ask for everyone to join him on his home planet, Pilaxatica. He’ll likely end up somewhere between 2013, 2014 and becoming our alien ruler. 2015 Projections: 61/13/67/.262/5
17. Jhonny Peralta – Everyone seems to get older, mean’s while Jhonny just keeps on keepin’ on. The Superfluous H must have magical powers. Or maybe that’s phowers. I also will guarantee that if you draft him, you will want to drop him…then pick him up…then drop him…then pick him up at least twelve times. 2015 Projections: 58/17/67/.250/3
18. Ben Zobrist – Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2015 fantasy baseball.
19. Asdrubal Cabrera – Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2015 fantasy baseball.
20. Jordy Mercer – Here’s a guy that could be a top 10 shortstop if he was in a favorable lineup position, and he’s still only a 13-homer, 5-steal guy. It’s just shortstops are so bad. Mercer, Mercer me. Unfortch, he may not even be the starter. I have no idea what the Pirates plan to do with Mercer and Kang. Right now, I’m expecting a platoon, and am staying away from both of them. 2015 Projections: 58/13/56/.262/5
21. Jung-Ho Kang – Pirates signed this Korean export because they just absolutely loved the movie Gung Ho and figured what the hey. From the clips I’ve watched of Kang batting, he looks like a Korean Jhonny Peralta. Call him, Jungy Pelarta. Last year in Korea, Kang hit 40 homers and .356. Oh. Wait, what?! Damn, I wish I would’ve grabbed him in my Korean Baseball Organization league. People have said the Japanese baseball league (NPB) is similar to Triple-A. The KBO? No one knows because no position player has ever made it here. But Kang hit 40 homers and .356 last year! Yeah, and Marcus Thames hit 37 homers last year and he was pushed out of the MLB three years ago from a lack of talent. Yamaico Navarro hit 31 homers and .308 last year in Korea. He was a 12-homer, .260 hitter in Triple-A that couldn’t even make it as shortstop for these very same Pirates. So, Korean baseball teams play in Little League stadiums with a 55 MPH pitching machine throwing to them, got it. I think the Pirates will realize they have Jordy and don’t need Jungy, but here’s a wild card draft pick if you’re feeling rucky. 2015 Projections: 48/16/54/.242/3
22. Brandon Crawford – He hit .246 in 17 games in the postseason, hit .246 in 153 games during the season in 2014, .248 in 149 games in 2013 and .248 in 143 games in 2012. I.e., Crawford may not be flashy or let you do a threesome with that hot waitress, but he’ll pick you up when you’re drunk on the side of the road and just need to see a familiar face. 2015 Projections: 55/10/59/.247/5
23. J.J. Hardy – I would’ve bet you many over-the-internet dollars that Hardy would’ve hit at least 15 homers every healthy year he played until he retired, but he only hit 9 homers last year. Maybe he got senile. Can you see now? Don’t be actin’ senile. Sorry, that stupid song is on repeat in my headphones. 2015 Projections: 60/17/63/.248
24. Zack Cozart – Including Cozart’s family, I’m the only one still holding out hope that he’ll flash the 30-steal speed he had in the minors and the 17-homer power. Oh, and he hit .310 in Triple-A too. So what he’s 29 years old and he has 33 homers and 11 steals total in 447 major league games. I cling to hope like Andy Dufresne. 2015 Projections: 51/12/57/.245/6
25. Jed Lowrie – This offseason, I said, “(Lowrie) signed with the Astros. Last year, Lowrie had a 14% strikeout percentage. On the Astros, that’s downright Wee Willie Keeler-ish! Hopefully the other Astros don’t feel like Lowrie’s putting them on the shine with his big city attitude towards the chucking of their whifflesticks at balls in the dirt. Robbie Grossman yells, “Don’t worry about where we put our whifflesticks, Lowrie!” Then Chris Carter steps in the middle, “I may look like Ryan Howard, but I’m a gentle giant like the Green Mile guy and I won’t let no warring happen between teammates!” Then Lowrie and Robbie Grossman begrudgingly shake. That’s all assuming the Astros are broadcast in black and white.” And that’s me quoting me! 2015 Projections: 54/14/58/.242/2
26. Alexi Amarista – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Gregorius. I call this tier, “Um, upside plays? Right? Uh, yeah, sorta.” None of these guys are that sexy. Actually, their future is cloudy with a chance of crapballs, but there’s some tiny, bitty, eenie, weenie, upside here. As for Amarista, went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2015 fantasy baseball.
27. Javier Baez – Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2015 fantasy baseball.
28. Francisco Lindor – I already went over my Francisco Lindor fantasy. I wrote it while begging my friend who works in reality TV to get me on Survivor. I actually do this every time I see her. For the past nine years. Seriously. 2015 Projections: 51/6/39/.271/22
29. Josh Rutledge – Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2015 fantasy baseball.
30. Brad Miller – Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2015 fantasy baseball.
31. Wilmer Flores – Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2015 fantasy baseball.
32. Addison Russell – I already went over my Addison Russell fantasy. I wrote it while watching a 72-hour Sons of Anarchy marathon. 2015 Projections: 44/8/39/.282/4
33. Everth Cabrera – The O’s signed Everth to backup (hopefully) and not to take over for Schoop (not hopefully). EverCab could act as the O’s Heartspark Stealsign in a pinch runner role or he could start every day once Machado invariably gets hurt. I can’t see drafting him in most mixed leagues, but I can see getting chummy with him off waivers once he’s playing, i.e., Outlook: SAGNOF. 2015 Projections: 36/2/17/.242/20
34. Didi Gregorius – Here’s what I said this offseason, “In a huge offseason deal (not huge), the Diamondbacks traded The Gregorius D.I.D. to the Yankees. Puff Didi will replace Jeter at short for the Yanks and he will also star in a new Gatorade commercial, where they show him bat poorly and flash the word “Suspect” with two 2’s for S’s, which will end up as the worst Gatorade campaign since their last NFL player endorsement that ended in murder. The Yanks like Didi for SS, but their ex-SS was more of a full C guy (DD is a little much). While all the stats say he sucks at hitting, Didi’s really impressive when he jump-hits balls on the outside corner. Just call him Didi “Pasta Swinging” Gregorius. For fantasy, Didi’s uber bleh.” And that’s me copying and pasting me! 2015 Projections: 42/8/54/.251/5
35. Adeiny Hechavarria – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until the end of the list. I call this tier, “Will get a majority of at-bats. Is at-bats a category in your league?” These guys have nothing going for them, except they should get counting stats due to seeing at-bats. Though, if you draft any of these guys, you’ll likely not want to see their at-bats, because they’re going to be ugly. I could see moving this entire tier above the previous tier if you’re in an extremely deep league where more at-bats is all you want. As for Adeiny, he’s one Hechavarria good fielder, according to the Marlins, so they’re going to keep playing him. Marlin fans seem like the types that enjoy good glove work. That’s the only way to explain how they put up with Loria donning a proctologist glove every few years and tearing the guts out of the organization. 2015 Projections: 42/3/48/.241/9
36. Stephen Drew – Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2015 fantasy baseball.
37. Yunel Escobar – Last year, Yunel scored 33 runs and knocked in 39 RBIs. That was the tenth lowest number of runs with at least 500 plate appearances since 1871. Number one was the incomparable Leo Cardenas, who was a born-again Christian and refused to score. I doubt his new home in Washington changes much for Yunel, you know? (Almost stutterer!) It should mean he gains 2nd base eligibility. Lowercase yay. 2015 Projections: 50/6/54/.249/2
38. Jose Iglesias – Iglesias is the safety on the Tigers gun so they don’t bat around every inning. 2015 Projections: 53/3/47/.251/7
39. Freddy Galvis – Galvanized means to shock or excite (someone), typically into taking action. Galvis’d means to not shock or excite anyone into anything. 2015 Projections: 46/4/49/.221/6
