American Sniper's fake baby-gate and seven other scene-stealing babies

Serious debate is circulating online about Clint Eastwood’s latest film American Sniper – does it tap into a US hero complex? Is it even historically accurate? – but the single most important discussion you really need to get stuck into is: what’s with the fake baby?

You’ll know what we’re talking about if / when you see it: the emotionally charged scene between Bradley Cooper and Sienna Miller in which they’re forced to make like that lump of plastic cradled in Cooper’s biceps is an actual, live baby.

Vulture has collected some of the fake baby reviews online, and our favourite comes from Shawn Levy: “[Is it] a Brechtian thing?”

Screenwriter Jason Hall explained all on Twitter: “hate to ruin the fun but real baby #1 showed up with a fever. Real baby #2 was no show. (Clint voice) Gimme the doll, kid,” although his tweet has since been deleted. Of course, it isn’t the first time a baby (fake or not) has stolen the movie.

Trainspotting’s cold turkey baby

Ewan McGregor’s Renton is trying, once again, to quit heroin which is clearly the least fun thing to do in the history of the world ever. Among a host of terrifying nightmares comes housemate Allison’s dead baby crawling on the ceiling. Things get seriously (or laughably) strange when the animatronic infant turns its head round 180 degrees and looks straight into Renton’s filthy soul.

Baby “blue steel” Zoolander

Derek Zoolander’s pride and joy, complete with immaculate spiked hair and pursed lips, absolutely steals the closing scene of Ben Stiller’s classic early naughties comedy, blue-steeling at the entrance to The Derek Zoolander School for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Want to Do Other Stuff Good Too. This feel-good finale offers up another completely ridiculous baby to the film gods, while paying tribute to Zoolander’s beloved fellow male models, tragically lost in a freak gasoline accident.

Maggie from The Simpsons Movie

The most famous animated baby for nigh-on three decades, Maggie Simpson embodies the nascent curiosity of a real five-fingered baby, unlike her cartoon competitors: the pantomime-baddie Stewie Griffin who plans to kill his own mother, and the trash-talking Rallo from The Cleveland Show. Maggie is the silent observer of her dysfunctional family and her thoughts can only be opened by Unky Herb’s baby translator. She wants what the dog’s eating. Preferably with Tom Jones’s Sex Bomb playing in the background.

Fake it to make it: Littleman’s Calvin

It’s an astonishing feat that the Wayans brothers managed to top their own 2004 drag-fest White Chicks for implausible plots, proposterous characterisation and even fewer laughs. But they did it, giving Rob Schneider a run for his unearned money. Marlon Wayans stars as a two-bit thief who happens to be extremely vertically challenged. Naturally, he hides from the law by disguising himself as a baby and taking advantage of his clucky adoptive parents. It’s comes at no shock that a sequel never managed to get green-lit. Then again, there have been three instalments of Big Momma’s House.

Swanberg Junior in Happy Christmas

When indie darling Joe Swanberg needed to cast a baby in his latest lo-fi offering, he looked no further than his own progeny. Never mind the child’s fictional mum and aunt (Melanie Lynskey, Anna Kendrick) and their erotica brainstorms. It’s chunky Jude’s double act with some Cheerios that takes top prize. Give that baby a best supporting Oscar. Unfortunately, Joe says (of Jude): “I won’t try and work with him again for a long time … he’s much more wilful than he used to be. I’d get a lot of ‘no’s and resistance from him.” Also: “He’s a ham.”

Toby, prisoner of the Labyrinth

Based on the petrified expression on young Toby’s face as hyperactive goblins tweak out around him in the infamous Dance Magic sequence, this baby’s living nightmare couldn’t be more real. Not to mention David Bowie forcing the babe and his weakened Bambi legs to bounce around a dank lair in a cringeworthy jig. The only thing more disturbing is Bowie’s novelty-sized bulge and the stringy mullet wig that inspired Garth’s signature style from Wayne’s World.

Naked Gun’s flying baby brigade

As far as absurd trilogies go, the Naked Gun films rank right up there. And as far as absurd scenes go, the opening to the third installment, Naked Gun 331/3: The Final Insult is unparalleled. In a parody of the classic train station scene in 1987 film The Untouchables, series hero Frank Drebin and friends set out their rickety stall early on, bungling their way through a botched stake-out that rapidly descends into a shoot-out with mobsters. How did we get there? In amongst the mayhem is a quartet of unmanned prams that careen down the stairs until they crash at the bottom and the babies are catapulted, somersaulting into the air. Fortunately, no babies were harmed in the making of this scene: Officer Nordberg (played by a pre-conviction OJ Simpson) catches every last one of the them before celebrating with a touchdown dance.

What did we miss? Name all those absurd baby film scenes below.