How To Stop Measuring Your Self-Worth In KPIs

When I started my first job in communications at a tech startup, it became overwhelmingly clear that key performance indicators (KPIs) would rule the day. My contributions were measured entirely in numbers: how many newsletter subscribers I converted, how many articles I placed, how many speaking opportunities our team secured for the cofounders. Depending on whether I “hit my numbers,” I got rewarded with another number: my bonus.

When I became a solopreneur, the picture changed.

I started my content strategy studio Stellia, and suddenly there were more metrics to track than I could have possibly dreamt up. I had goals for the amount of revenue I wanted to generate, the number of networking events I attended per week to meet potential clients, the number of follow-up “coffees” I scheduled, and even the number of hours I spent working every day. My Chrome screen was a multi-tabbed mess of Google spreadsheets and time-tracking apps.

The stakes of meeting my goals were high (falling short could mean shuttering my business), and over time I felt these numbers creeping uncomfortably close to my self-esteem. As an independent consultant, my business was me. The more I lived by the “KPI Bible,” the more I questioned my innate value. If I couldn’t manage to keep my business on track, then what was I good for?

Once my business fell into place, I was able to take a step back and evaluate my outlook. I couldn’t believe the extent to which I’d let numbers define my self-worth. Sure, my tracking yielded some important insights, but it also boxed me in. I lost touch with my intuitive sense of what was right for me and my business, and I wasted a lot of time feeling inadequate as an entrepreneur when everything worked out just fine in the end.

If you’re caught in the numbers game too, here are three strategies you can use to break the cycle:

Recognize that numbers can exacerbate cognitive distortions

Nobody is a perfectly rational thinker. Relying on numbers in an ambiguous world is comforting, but it can also reinforce unhealthy standards. Black-and-white thinking is one common cognitive bias that involves seeing situations as “either/or.” Numerical goals can intensify black-and-white thinking because meeting them is very much a yes or no question. You’ve either reached your revenue goal or haven’t. You’re either on track with your monthly page views, or you’re not. This kind of starkness makes it tempting to call your quarter “unsuccessful” if you’re 5% short of your revenue goal -- even if you’ve made progress in areas less cut and dry, like improving relationships.

Remind yourself what KPIs actually measure

Once I recognized how numbers triggered my cognitive biases, I realized I didn’t like leading my business as a numbers-worshipper. To reframe, I continued to remind myself that my progress was just that: progress. Regardless of how close I was to hitting a target, I could be proud of my personal and professional growth. It’s easy to forget that KPIs are business performance indicators, not measurements of an entrepreneur’s ability, drive or passion. I still have goals and monitor my progress, but I know that my identity comprises so much more than upticks in my website traffic.

Relegate all “dashboard” apps to a separate folder  

I spend more time staring at my phone than I want to admit. When I noticed that my progress tracking apps had infiltrated all corners of my screen, I understood why I was so tempted to compulsively refresh various stats. To symbolize boundary-drawing, I collected these apps into a single folder and sent it to the last screen of my iPhone. Now I have to make a conscious effort to navigate to my KPI Pandora’s Box. I rarely do.