FOR SALE: Everyday Mindfulness

What aspects of mindfulness have you found dealt best with anxiety? Not panic attacks, just constant and high levels of anxiety.

What do you do mindfully when, say, you wake in the morning and that first rush of adrenalin hits you? Or when you you are feeling very anxious for virtually the whole day/s and you can't seem to shake it no matter how many times you mindfully tell yourself it's just thoughts so don't judge them or react to them?

...you can't seem to shake it no matter how many times you mindfully tell yourself it's just thoughts so don't judge them or react to them?

Herein lies the problem. You can't just shake anxiety - or any emotion - off.
Emotions need to be listened to. As long as you're trying to get rid of anxiety it will stick around. When you can learn to tolerate, accept, and even welcome anxiety as a voice that is trying to keep you informed, but safe, it will naturally subside.

Telling yourself that anxiety is just thoughts is unlikely to help much. Anxiety is much more than just thoughts, (it's a form of communication initiated by the nervous system and distributed throughout body and mind). You will, and should, react to and evaluate (judge) such messages.

Mindfulness can help, but to develop a healthy kind of relationship with emotions, you need to understand what they are, what they're for and how they work.

I can recommend the work of Karla McLaren.
Shinzen Young's Break Through Difficult Emotions is also very good.

I agree with Matt.

This practice is about learning how to welcome all of your emotions, even the ones that you don't like. If you can become friendly with your negative emotions, then their power is diminished.

Matt Y wrote:

You will, and should, react to and evaluate (judge) such messages.

Thanks for taking the time to reply, Matt.

The above confuses me a little because I once wrote down and memorised what JKZ said what mindfulness is: "Mindfulness is awareness. The awareness of paying attention, on purpose, to the present moment, non-judgementally and with huge self compassion"

I know you used the word "evaluate" but I wondered if you could possibly expand on that? How should one evaluate these messages?

Hi James,

Good question!

I think it's important to make a distinction between using judgment and being judgmental. For example someone who exercises good judgment is not usually considered judgmental. Judgmental has a negative connotation and might describe someone who rushes to certain conclusions without reason. I think this is what JKZ is trying to get at.

For example, when we're anxious we might rush to conclusions about ourselves and our anxiety; and we'll probably have a tendency to believe these conclusions. For example, the thoughts "I can't meditate", followed by "I'm hopeless" might jump into our mind. We can't really stop these thoughts, so we're bound to be judgmental to some degree. However, when we recognise that we've had a self-critical or judgmental thought, we can then choose, (with good judgment), to be kind to ourselves.

This is exercising good judgment.

We could also evaluate our thoughts, and the way we relate to them, and our emotions, by asking: Is this helpful? Is this useful? How does this make me feel? By 'this' I'm largely referring to your attitude towards the voice in your head, or the emotion you're experiencing.

For instance, if you are wishing that your anxiety would go away, or that a particular voice in your head would shut up, you could ask: Am I treating this voice with the respect it deserves? Am I giving this emotion the attention it wants? Am I being kind to these parts of myself? What happens when I permit my anxiety to hang around? What happens when I try to push it away? In this way, you evaluate your own attitudes and behaviors. You evaluate the manner in which you relate to thoughts and emotions. This is exercising good judgment, and this is the type of judgment you want to make.

Does that help to clarify things a bit?

Matt.

Perfecto Matt! Thanks mate. Appreciate the in-depth reply.

What is the best meditation to practice when waking up early in the morning with anxiety symptoms? Breathing meditation does not work in this moment for me - I can not sustain attention. Thanks. Squirrel.

I suggest a breath/body 10 minute meditation, Squirrel.

I really should practice what I preach. I've lost count of the amount of sleepless nights I've had laying on my bed watching crap tv, riddled with adrenalin but have done nothing about it. Just laid there and suffered in silence with all those crazy thoughts and bodily sensations. The only thing that takes the edge of is booze and I hate that about myself. But in desperate times you do desperate things. Just glad I don't do recreational drugs as I dread to think where I'd be if I did.

I suggest you buy a book called At Last A Life by Paul David. I was 40 recently and I've tried EVERYTHING to rid my self of anxiety since I was 16. From healing, to EFT, to CBT, to hypnotherapy to prescription drugs to spending a small fortune at the priory on therapy. Nothing really worked. But this book was the first of many self help books I'd bought that actually rang true and advises exactly what you need to do in order to recover from anxiety.

I'm a work in progress and my own worst enemy at times but I'm determined to be more at peace with myself and just "be" rather than "do" things to alleviate my anxiety problems.

The funny thing is, Paul, the chap who wrote it mentions so many things that are linked to mindfulness (he didn't know anything about mindfulness when he wrote it) that it's uncanny.

Good luck mate. When/if you next wake with anxiety just get on with your day no matter how shitty you feel and remember, worry is THE most pointless emotion there is.

BUY. THE. BOOK.

What is the best meditation to practice when waking up early in the morning with anxiety symptoms?

Hi Squirrel.

There is no best practice. There is only a process of finding out what works for you - and what doesn't. You've started this process already, discovering that the breath isn't working for you.

It sounds like you are trying to get rid of your anxiety. This (trying to get rid of it), is the most common attribute of folks who suffer from anxiety. People without anxiety are usually just as anxious as people with anxiety, but they aren't so desperate to get rid of it. They can live quite comfortably with anxiety. So the difference is in how you relate to anxiety, what you believe about it, and in whether you have developed your capacity to tolerate such feelings.

I'd suggest that when you wake up early in the morning experiencing anxiety, use this as an opportunity to get to know it. Instead of trying to eliminate anxiety, examine it. Let it be there. Sit down with it, so-to-speak, and have a good chat. Explore the sensations and note how they change and move (or not). Be interested in the thoughts that accompany this experience. What kind of voice(s) do you hear? Are there associated images? Study your anxiety as a scientist might, making notes on all of its qualities and characteristics.

And if it diminishes or disappears in the process, don't worry too much!

Well James, you're not alone. It appears to me that anxiety was walking with me all my life. It was realistically hidden for many years but it stopped me from doing a thousand things. In my late 20's I read Claire Weeks and somehow reformed my reaction to my adrenaline rush. A decade later I began with some Taoist meditation and then flowed into mindfulness. Practice was 40 mins a day and my life gently changed. In time, LOL, I felt like some dude sitting on a bus relaxed, with a nice cigar in my mouth. I was taking a comfortable scenic ride and felt it fun to help others if needed. In 2005 I underwent difficult change with job loss, financial issues, a (seriously) psychopath wife. My practice began to unwind but much of what mindfulness had presented held me stable. Then divorce happened and the story of life became tough. As I began coming close to the end and also selling my home of 35 Yrs, I fell in the dark leaving someones home. Down some stairs and off a wall. NOW* It's ninety days later and I'm still trying to recover from a Head Brain Trauma. It's been a rough ride and an unfamiliar trail. I'm working to pick up my daily practice. I remember my experience like I'm the guy from the past observantly riding the bus - Only this time it is rough. Afraid of getting beat up! Getting lost! Ewwww.
I am working on 15 mins a day. It looks and feels like the bus is going through flames and rough neighborhoods.
Dude. If you want someone to gab with.... jump right in! There are many who enter the pathway having to push through thorns, bees, and bird droppings. We'll make it. Work on the practice of watching and not reacting. You will be fine!