Head over heels: how to avoid pain in a pair of killer heels

I blame the Start-rite sandals of my childhood. If my mother hadn’t put me in those clumpy, boring, buckled flats — normcore before that was even a concept I knew to despise — I doubt the lure of stilettos would have been so strong.

My love was cemented when a long-promised growth spurt never materialised and I realised I was never going to rise above 5ft 4in. When a boyfriend puts his chin on your crown and salutes you as a convenient headrest, you tend to view heels as a much-needed leveller; I don’t want my feet on the ground if it means my date’s head is in the clouds. The American writer Christopher Morley put it best: “High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.”

Although I wear heels in the office, on the bike — hell, once I accidentally climbed Mount Etna in them — the true sole sensations only come out to play come party season. There’s a particular pair of Jimmy Choos — black, suede and mesh six-inchers — that always attract coos of admiration, alongside cries of “Dear Lord, how do you walk in those?” I wore them last Saturday and will be in them again come New Year’s Eve.

If you too can’t resist vertigo-inducing stilettos, there are a few tricks to protect your feet. Never again need you be the woman (or man) leaning against a wall at the end of the evening, crippled by chafing straps or burgeoning blisters. No shoe would put Carrie Bradshaw in the corner.

Here’s how to ensure you avoid bowing to the killer in killer heels.

2pm: Buy wisely

Fit is everything. If a shoe feels uncomfortable in a shop, it will seem like a medieval torture device three hours into a party. Pick a pair that are too big and your toes will clench as you walk so you can cling on. Too tight is even worse — you will shred your toes or heels and end up in the place I like to call the Stiletto Somme: the spot where party-goers nurse their wounds and curse St Crispin, the patron saint of cobblers.

A thicker heel or wedge will mean your weight is more evenly distributed, making your shoes more sturdy and reducing the pressure on the balls of your feet. Wedges aren’t easy shoes to dance in, so a platform is a good compromise. That gives you some cushioning. Open-toes can also prevent rubbing against calluses and corns.

Study your feet too — and adjust heel height accordingly. I have high arches, so skyscraper heels don’t hurt me as much as they do other women.

4pm: Break them in

“Practice, practice, practice makes perfect,” says Sandra Choi, the creative director of Jimmy Choo. “Don’t make the party the first time you slip on a pair of heels — you will regret it.” She is a wise woman. You wouldn’t debut your Air Max on marathon day, so never test drive your Sophia Websters or Giuseppe Zanottis on a night out. Break them in over a few days first at home.

6pm: Join the flat earth society

Wear ballet pumps to travel to the party, then stash them in your handbag. If space is limited, try fold-up flats (from rollasole.com or butterflytwists.com). But if you insist on wearing heels to walk anywhere on a cold night, spray the soles with hairspray to stop you slipping on an icy street. Avoid cobbles.

You may want to put some Party Feet gel pads from Dr Scholl into the heels to make them more comfortable. Bare feet work better with heels than tights — not for aesthetic reasons but for the rather revolting fact that a little sweat can glue a shoe to your foot. If there’s a risk of frostbite, though, go with woollies over nylons for better grip.

8pm: Don’t drink and dive

I’m not saying forgo the martinis entirely — they can have a mild anaesthetic effect that will help you ignore the dull ache emitting from your Achilles tendon. Go too far with a cocktails-and-stiletto combo though, and you may just make work for the orthopaedic surgeon. No great knees-up ends with an ankle fracture. If you like to get sloshed, there are always DMs.

10pm: Sit down

“Nothing burns more calories than dancing in five-inch heels,” the pop star Ariana Grande declared recently. Ignore her. Save your feet. If you want to burn calories, go running — in sensible shoes. Whereas if you’re on the dancefloor and your toes start to sting, find a chair. As Choi suggests: “Try to alternate between sitting and standing or transferring weight between each foot.”

2am: Don’t go footloose

Please, please don’t be that woman walking home in bare feet while carrying your shoes. A shard of glass is all it takes to land you in A&E. If you’ve ignored the advice to pack flats, hail a taxi or find a kind, flat-footed friend and beg them for a piggy-back all the way to your door.