It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…
For most of us, Christmas is a time to eat, drink and be merry, recharge our batteries, and get ready for another year in the working world. However, for some, the Christmas period is one or two days off in an especially hectic week.
If you do have to work over Christmas, you don’t have to be a Scrooge about it. To help you embrace the season, here’s our light-hearted look at the top five festive jobs… (look away now Ebenezer).
5. Sprout picker
Love them or loathe them, Brussels sprouts are the quintessential Christmas vegetable, arguably as much a part of the traditional festive fare as the stuffing and the turkey.
And, despite the bad press, it seems we can’t get enough of them, with a whopping £50 million spent every year in the UK on this oft vilified veg. The Christmas season accounts for over a quarter of all sales, with growers producing somewhere in the region of 250 million sprouts in the UK alone.
Come cold, rain, wind or shine (don’t expect much of that), this process would prove impossible were it not for the humble sprout picker. So, as you gently push them to the side of your plate, spare a thought for how they got there.
Bon appetite…
4. Professional present wrapper
When you’re trying to impress that special someone, the right gift can speak volumes. However, even the most loving gift can be ruined by some shoddy presentation.
If your wrapping skills aren’t up to scratch or time is of the essence, don’t get your tinsel in a tangle. There are people you can pay to make it look pretty.
Professional present wrappers are talented and creative individuals with the gift of the gift-wrap. Although sadly, demand is exclusively seasonal.
3. Christmas cracker joke writer
Since being introduced in the nineteenth century, crackers have been an integral part of Christmas celebrations for over 150 years. Unfortunately, many of the jokes they contain have been around for nearly as long.
Luckily, traditional ‘classics’ such as ‘What’s brown and sticky?’ and ‘What do you call a one-eyed reindeer?’ have (finally) begun to lose their appeal, and a new wave of jokes are on the rise.
So now accompanying such festive favourites as the padlock set, the pencil sharpener and the plastic bendy fish, expect a whole host of hilarious alternative anecdotes.
We’ll leave you with this:
Two snowmen in a field, one turns to the other and says, “Can you smell carrots?”
What’s green and goes up and down? A Gooseberry in a lift
Got my wife a wooden leg for Christmas. Not her main present, it’s just a stocking-filler.
2. Elf
If you’re good with children, look great in green and have a preference for pointy shoes, then this career may be perfect for you. Essentially, you’ll be crowd control for Santa Claus, keeping up morale while ushering in the next wide-eyed child to see the big man in red.
And with the eponymous movie quickly becoming a modern day classic, the position has become particularly revered of late, with the admiration of kids up and down the land just one of many perks. Not to mention as many complimentary candy canes as you can eat.
Excellent opportunities for career progression, as long as you have a beard.
1. Father Christmas
Unquestionably the number one position for the holiday period. Whether you work in a top department store in the city or a garden centre in Guildford, there can be few jobs more rewarding.
Not only do you get to bring joy to hundreds of children and keep the magic of Christmas alive, but you get to do all of this while sitting down. The hours may be long, and inquisitive children may be frustrating (especially the cynical ones), but the results are well worth it.
Traditional duties will include making a list, checking it twice and finding out who is naughty or nice.
(Shaking your belly like a big bowl of jelly optional).
Honourable mentions: Turkey farmer, Christmas party DJ, Postman, Noel Edmonds
