7 Habits Will Grow Your Influence in 2015

People who wield more influence and impact than others always seem to have incredible networks. While they may not be wealthier or brighter than their friends, everyone leans in when they talk and remembers what they say. What’s their magic?

Having spent decades observing the most highly influential friends and acquaintances in my business network, here are 7 habits that grow your influence:

1 :: Check Your Ego – How long do you want to interact with a self-absorbed person? The old saying that "we were given one mouth and two ears for a reason" still applies. Learn to listen, think, and absorb.

2 :: Become a Giver – Adam Grant studied reciprocity in business for a decade. He learned that the most successful people are thoughtful givers. When a colleague needs help, be willing to sacrifice your goals for theirs. Remember, it’s not all about you, but about making good things happen around you.

3 :: Leave More Room – While “no plan is a plan to fail” is true, it’s equally true that too tight a plan leaves no room for creativity that results in breakthrough ideas. Plan sufficiently, but leave time in your calendar for serendipity.

4 :: Pick Your Battles – Ask 3 questions when faced with a decision: Is this urgent? Is this important? Is this reversible? Urgent matters far outnumber critical ones. Act on the most important matters in a timely way. When a truly serious problem comes along, you’ll have more time and energy to address it.

5 :: Keep It Cool – When panic strikes, the coolest head prevails, and influence follows. A doctor taught me long ago to start deep muscle relaxation exercises when stress arose. You can train yourself to relax and think clearly under stress. Remember that few decisions in business are life-threatening or irreversible.

6 :: Share Your Insight – When you encounter useful and positive information, consider who would be most helped by this knowledge, then share it with them. I’ve practiced this for years, and the instant communication modes we have now (email, text, social media) make it ever simpler.

7 :: Keep the Faith – View life from a higher perspective. Place your faith in something beyond yourself. (See above: it’s not all about you.) Determine your purpose in life – beyond making money and buying more toys – then operate from that core motivation. Reconnect each morning with your larger personal identity before the relentless battle for your consciousness begins and you’re drawn into darkness, irrelevance, or time-wasting activities.

Finally, here's the big secret: don’t strive to be an influential person. Instead, try to deliver value in every interaction, and influence will follow.