Over seven years ago, Julie joined CatholicMatch. As the months slipped by, she became skeptical about finding the love of her life. All the men she met were nice, but none of them seemed to be the one God meant for her to marry. Then, one day, John joined CatholicMatch and found her profile. He immediately messaged her.
Julie says, "The first few emails were just light, about our backgrounds, etc. When he first called it was All Saints Day, and my mom said 'who was that?' I said 'that officer in Hawaii,' and she said 'ooh and?' I said 'I am going to marry him someday' and I did nine months later."
Julie even told all the other men she was talking to or had gone on a few dates with she knew she was going to marry him—even though they hadn't met yet!
Across the Pacific
Julie loved that John could make her laugh. "For example, he looks at our dogs, and puts words in their mouths!" laughs Julie. He is lighthearted, doesn't sweat the small stuff, and is very clear headed." It was easy finding things in common as she grew up on a military base and he was active duty military. Most of their conversations were faith based, as they were both finally comprehending the great magnitude of the Church and were both so excited to be Catholic. Julie explains, "I knew with his Masters in Theology and conservative faith, he would lead me and my kids to heaven.”
John was initially attracted to Julie's "incredible femininity, her contagious sense of humor, and her steadfast faith in God." He later grew to love that "she does many small things with great love, day in and day out, and always cares for others before herself."
Both Julie and John were in their forties and had annulments, and they each had two children from a previous marriage, though John's children were adults.
John was stationed with the Air Force in Hawaii, but his parents and siblings were in Washington state, where he grew up. They were not far from where Julie lived. After phone calls and messages for a few months, they decided to meet when he flew out to Washington to visit family in the beginning of 2010.
Julie said that she had told John about a male friend of hers who would take her out to dinner or the opera on occasion. She and the man had a platonic relationship, and neither was interested in a dating relationship. But when John found out about their casual dates, he got nervous. Julie says that because John was very far away, and was worried about her male friend, he "got on a plane quicker than he was probably planning on!"
Love at first flight
They first saw each other in the wee hours of the morning as he came through
customs at the airport. Julie felt an immediate connection to him.
She recalled, “We were both tired, but I knew I was going to marry him, just like that.” John agreed, “We knew instantly we were right for each other.”
He stayed for two days with a friend who lived near Julie before going to his parent’s home an hour away. He invited her to meet them, so Julie went without her children so she could get to know them more easily.
Julie explained, “It was important to me to meet his kids, although they were adults already, and his family—he has seven siblings. I especially wanted to see how he treated his mom." Julie was not disappointed. She enjoyed seeing him among his family, and loved the stories of him growing up on a large apple orchard in his big family with old fashioned Catholic values.
On the feast of St. Blaise, they didn't just get their throats blessed
John had to return to Hawaii, but he came back to Washington just six weeks later. John met Julie’s family, and their
children met one another. Then three days later, John proposed! They went to an Adoration Chapel on the Feast Day of St. Blaise (February 3). While kneeling at the altar rail in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament, John took out the engagement ring. He asked her to marry him, and she joyfully said yes.
Julie and her children flew to Hawaii for a brief visit to see what their new home would be like. Then John returned to Washington in July for the wedding, which was a traditional Latin Mass celebrated by two Dominican priests. The ceremony included a choir singing Gregorian chant and pieces by Palestrina. They gave blessed St. Blaise medallions to all their guests, and the reception was held at the Air Force Museum in Vancouver, Washington.
Joy overflowing
"John and I knew children were in our future—we had hoped I could have one or two but it wasn't meant to be. So we decided that maybe God was calling us to help children in another way and we signed up for a county foster care meeting and never looked back."
After one year of serving as foster parents, they felt called to adopt. The couple didn't set out to adopt six kids, but they noticed that sets of two or three siblings would be placed quickly, but any siblings of four or more would usually have to be separated to be placed. They felt the pain of these siblings who felt they had lost everything, only to be separated again in the adoption process. Their social worker started to send their home study out to large sets of siblings who wanted to stay together.
After paperwork delays, the couple met a set of six siblings in Oregon. Julie says,"We knew they were our kids even from the pictures. We fell in love, but had to wait to bring them home. It was a long process, but it was fine in the end, as we had a lot of clothes and toys to gather. I would come home almost daily to bags of donated items from mostly Catholic churches who had heard about us and wanted to help."
The kids arrived in two groups of three in April of 2013, a week apart. John and Julie picked up the older three, and a week later the younger three arrived with the social worker. The kids arrived during John's retiring from the military, and a move to Texas, so it was a whirlwind. Suddenly, John and Julie had two children under two.
Before the kids came, their then fourteen-year-old would ask if she could ride the DC metro to theater practice with friends. Julie would say "Are you crazy? You can't get on that metro with anyone!" After the kids arrived, she'd say "Mom I need a ride to practice." Julie would say "What's wrong with you? Get on the metro!" They laugh about it now.
Julie and John can't say enough good things about their experience with foster care and adoption. "We had a great relationship with our social worker. I have to say that from A to Z, all workers in the three states we worked with were amazing and dedicated to the well being of these children. Anytime I needed an exception such as healthcare issues or going to private Catholic school vs. public, it was granted to us, no questions asked. It was a very positive experience and I recommend often for friends who want to adopt to pursue foster/adoption. One does have to be persistent, but it is so very worth it in the end."
Just the beginning
John and Julie love their life together, but they still have their struggles. They explained, "the biggest struggle in our marriage are the children we both had from before we met. John's kids were adults, mine teenagers. His children were still healing as were mine, although it had been over five years. It is still a source of ongoing concern, but we pray for them and our relationships and know that we cannot force anything. We take our vocation of marriage seriously and put one foot in front of the other hoping to lead by example."
John has tremendous regard for CatholicMatch. He says, “We cannot speak highly enough of it. Neither of us ever met anyone strange or anything like that. You have a lot to gain by joining, even just good friends. It will give you hope to find your husband or wife.”
Julie says she was impressed at every turn with her experiences on CatholicMatch. After she told one of the men she had been talking to that she had found the one, he responded with grace: "I am very disappointed, I had hoped I was the one, but I trust you to know that I am not and someone right is out there for me. Thank you for respecting my heart and body more than I ever have myself." Julie appreciated his response, and said is is an example of how her experiences on CatholicMatch were ones of dating how God intended it.
Julie also emphasizes the importance of seeking an annulment before dating. She encourages others to, “Have an annulment first, if you are divorced, so you know that you are not sinning or leading another into sin. When you have that annulment, you have nothing to lose.”
John and Julie stay busy caring for their energetic family, but they still find time to be together through the blessing of good babysitters! They like to golf together, go out for dinner with friends, pray and go to daily Mass, watch old movies, hike and swim. As the years go by, they find their love and commitment continue to grow.
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