Here’s a profound thought: By their very nature, multiple-step tasks include multiple opportunities for one to get off-task.
This is especially true for those of us who are prone to get distracted in the first place. For example, we set out to clean our room, but in the process, we find an old bag of balloons we forgot we had! Who can resist blowing up a balloon? Not us! In an instant, we’re sidetracked from the task we need to complete.
What’s a parent to do?
Try a little structuring for success! Continue reading to learn how.
Set Your Child Up for Success
Change your lingo from “chores” to “responsibilities.” (Try it: you’ll be surprised what a difference this makes.)
Identify one multiple-step responsibility to structure at a time (getting ready for school, getting ready for bed, cleaning his room, etc.) Together with your child, complete the task several times while thinking out loud, “Now what’s the next step?”
Give Your Child Ownership of the Task
After your child has completed this routine responsibility with your supervision several times, praise his work, and then sit down with him to make a small chart or poster listing all of the multiple-steps involved in this multiple-step task. Your child must be involved in making this chart so he will take “ownership” of the task. You need to keep your child on-task for completing the chart.
Say, “You’re doing such a great job completing this responsibility, you don’t need my help with this anymore. Let’s work together to make a list of all the steps in getting ready for school each morning (or whatever responsibility you’re working on.) What’s first?”
Have him either write down the multiple-steps in the responsibility or work together to draw or cut and paste pictures of each step on the checklist.
Express Expectations, Rewards, and Consequences
Make sure your child understands your expectations about the task: express and have him write down when, how, and how often the task is to be completed. If necessary, take a picture of what the completed task looks like: after he thoroughly cleans the bathroom, take a picture of what it looks like, and attach it to his list of steps.
Plan to use tokens, charts, or sticker charts to track and reward “immediate obedience” at completing responsibilities.
Talk with your child about appropriate rewards and consequences for either completing or not completing her responsibilities. Work together to identify age-appropriate rewards that will motivate him and write these down.
Selflessly Give Rewards and Consequences
Follow-through consistently on both consequences and rewards. Understand that rewards and consequences are for your child’s development not for yours: Do so with your child in mind, not yourself. Consider the suggestions outlined in earlier posts about parenting for more guidance.
Repeat
Once your child experiences consistent success with one multiple-step task, take on another one! Go back through these steps to continue your child’s growth.
Share Your Child’s Successes
Proudly share your child’s successes with others. Although they may not always show it, children and teens love to hear their parents brag on them to others. Try to do so regularly.
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Need Help Applying this Concept?
Call us at 817.421.8780 or email us. We’re happy to help you and your struggling child or teen experience success!
(c) 2010-2019, Monte W. Davenport, Ph.D.
