In my time writing on the psychology of millennials at work, I've encountered tons of research. I relay my findings in plain English, what's amounted to tens of thousands of words, to my readers on Forbes and via my weekly newsletter.
But when people ask me, "So what do millennials need to be wildly successful and purposeful and make their dreams come true?" I stumble. There is no singular answer. My response gets complicated and boring.
It's hard to distill what practices—among hundreds psychologists study—are most important for working millennials. First, because we're all different. And second, because a lot's important. That said, the below habits are a nutshell, and the most convincing research I've found. They've been essential to my own career success and satisfaction, and I hope they help you too!
1. Commitment
To make ends meet while she pursued her life coaching business on the side for seven years, Marie Forleo was simultaneously a bartender, personal assistant and dance coach. The mentality that “saved” her was: “Whatever is happening in this moment, I’m going to approach it and attack it—whether I’m bartending or scrubbing someone’s floor.”
As a result, at the end of her shifts she wasn’t “exhausted from being miserable” and could coach with energy and confidence. Marie calls this dedication to present mastery no matter the circumstances “making is-ness your business”.
Psychologists call it grit. Angela Duckworth, one of the leading researchers on grit, has found that a combination of passion and perseverance is more important to scholarly success than IQ. Studies also, unsurprisingly, suggest a correlation between reliability and job performance. One study even found that professional commitment has a buffering effect on the development of illness.
Duckworth believes there are four components of grit we can all cultivate: interest in the subject matter (desire to understand); the capacity to deliver consistent practice (making something a daily habit); purpose (conviction that what you do every day is meaningful and beneficial to other people); and hope.
How to practice commitment:
1. Step up to the plate. If employers or clients see you waffling or stepping back from a project, they’ll be less likely to trust you with future work. Choose what you want to do carefully, and then commit wholeheartedly.
2. Follow up. While half-heartedness is strongly correlated with procrastination, committed action is negatively correlated with it. Gritty people may not execute better than anyone else, but they keep executing better than anyone else, Duckworth explained. When you don’t go away, you mark yourself as someone worth paying attention to.
3. Simplify your commitments. If you're multi-passionate like Marie Forleo, you may not be able to simplify your career focus. But if you can, choose just one or two specialties to become the best at. In Deep Work, Georgetown professor Cal Newport argues that focus is the new IQ. Commitment to deep work helps us quickly master complicated information and imparts us with the fulfillment of true craftsmanship. “If you’re not comfortable going deep for extended periods of time, it’ll be difficult to get your performance to the peak levels of quality and quantity increasingly necessary to thrive professionally,” Newport writes.
2. Optimism
Worry—assuming the worst—comes from the old English word “to strangle”. It’s a fitting root because, if left untamed, worry smothers our energy and creativity. Pessimism produces stress hormones and reduces our initiative at work. Optimism, by contrast, is associated with less burnout and job exhaustion and improved performance in nearly every aspect.
How can a simple mindset make such a difference? In one study, asthmatics inhaled basic saline solutions. Those told the solution was harmless experienced no symptoms. Of those told they were inhaling allergens instead, 47.5% experienced attacks. What we believe about our environments directly affects our energy, health and wellbeing—regardless of the reality.
Moreover, how we feel about ourselves and the world reflects how we think the world feels about us. For instance, optimistic college students have larger friendship networks and perceive more social support than do pessimistic students. They're also less likely to be depressed.
How to practice optimism:
1. View your social networks differently. You could see everyone as out to get you, or you could see them as there to support you. This single choice directly influences your psychological health and professional prospects. For example, one study found that teens who spent their time on Facebook sending words of encouragement to others decreased their cortisol levels. Help solve people’s problems, contribute positively to online communities and stop umpiring others' statuses.
2. Stop dwelling. We often “troubleshoot” our problems, either by fixating on them internally or talking it over, and over, with friends. But (sometimes unfortunately) life isn’t an IT problem. And, actually, this strategy can exacerbate the problem. New research shows that rumination is a key contributor to depression. Furthermore, multiple studies show that worry, anxiety and focusing on failure are primary sources of impaired performance and reduced problem solving skills.
Next time you feel like you’re doing a lot of introspection, ask yourself if you’ve gained new insight. If not, it might be time to let the problem be for a bit. When I realize I’m having repetitive and/or unproductive thoughts, I drown out their noise by saying “blah blah blah” aloud, singing, going to yoga or putting on a podcast or audiobook. Whatever works!
3. Be nice (to others and yourself). You don’t need to feed Africa to benefit from altruism—a trait overwhelmingly linked to higher wellbeing and lower stress. Instead of airing your grievances every time you’re out, listen to and support the people around you. Volunteer. Call your mom.
And treat yourself well, too. A series of experiments found that self-compassion led to viewing one’s personal weaknesses as more changeable. Self-compassion and self-forgiveness are also correlated with decreased rumination, less shame, fewer symptoms of depression and higher levels of wellbeing, emotional stability, good health and satisfaction.
3. Solitude
A couple years ago, researchers told students to sit alone in a room without technology for 15 minutes. Nearly half of them voluntarily decided to give themselves mild electric shocks to occupy their time. Researchers concluded that many students would rather be in pain than alone with their thoughts. Other research supports this conclusion: one study found that people aged 18-24 were twice as likely to be anxious about being alone than those over 55.
We're quick to claim that we wouldn't have shocked ourselves. But notice how many times you reach for your phone, food, work or entertainment when you’re by yourself. Occupying ourselves—often under the guise of busyness—has become habitual.
But our inability to take timeouts is making us stressed, anxious and ultimately unproductive. Among students, frequent cellphone usage and heavy social media use is correlated with increased anxiety, depression, aggression and reduced life satisfaction, self-esteem and sleep.
On a more philosophical level, our ever-connected busyness deprives us of knowing ourselves. Sherry Turkle, researcher and founder of the MIT Initiative on Technology and Self, explains:
Solitude is where you find yourself so that you can reach out to other people and form real attachments. When we don’t have the capacity for solitude, we turn to other people in order to feel less anxious or in order to feel alive.
How to practice solitude:
1. Prioritize aloneness. There are so many small opportunities: in the waiting room, driving, listening to music, cooking, showering, reading. Make mental space for yourself and you’ll realize just how easy it is to feel, and reap the benefits of, solitude. Take an additional three seconds between each of your activities today to be present and alone with yourself. How's it feel?
2. Put away your phone. Think about all the minutes every single day you spend on your phone. Not only are these minutes unproductive; they’re miserable just moments later: frequent cellphone usage is correlated with increased anxiety and depression and reduced life satisfaction. In several studies, teens who relied heavily on their phones and/or social media experienced elevated levels of stress, aggression and distraction as well as worse self-esteem and sleep.
Next time you’re waiting or have nothing to do, leave your phone in your pocket or purse. Relinquish it as a means of alleviating boredom and instead use it consciously as needed.
3. Be your own person at work. Some employees think that checking in with their supervisors constantly is best practice. In fact, it’s a sign of neuroticism, which is associated with compromised career success, emotional instability and lack of leadership potential. More immediately, incessantly checking in reflects insecurity and lack of self-sufficiency.
Instead, think for yourself. Command meetings. You can be independent while also empathizing with and even prioritizing collective interests. If you’re worried your boss will punish you for checking in less, outline exactly what you’re going to do for a given project ahead of time. Follow up explicitly confirming that you’ll do xyz, and then don’t check in again until it’s done the way you agreed.
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