In many negotiations, one or both parties come to the table with "baggage." Baggage isn't bad--unless you don't deal with it out in the open. The key is to know if you do have it or you have strong thoughts that the other side is carrying baggage that can destroy the opportunity. If so, it should be brought up.
What is "personal baggage" in a business context? Baggage is our collected life experiences and observations—some old, some new, some wise, some foolish—that we carry around all the time. We may have worked our way through a lot of personal baggage, but other kinds can pop up in any negotiation. How many people do you think are burdened by baggage related to gender, age, religion, education, appearance, attitudes, financial status, experience, or seniority? Whatever baggage you think will be a problem in the negotiation needs to be dealt with up front. Baggage can hurt you only if you ignore it, deny you have any, or pretend it doesn't matter.
Why Baggage Is Important
Even though discussing your baggage carries risks, dealing with your baggage out in the open is more likely to create trust and engender respect in a negotiation. The other party will take you seriously. And bringing it up is like a pressure valve--it releases your fear.
Let's say, for example, that you're inexperienced. Perhaps this is your first time negotiating a contract for your company. You have two choices. You can act confident, maybe throw around some big words, and try to impress the other side with your intelligence. This would be the worst mistake you could make, because then all your decisions will be driven by an undercurrent of emotions. If you're fearful and nervous--believe me--the other party will pick up on it and you'll make mistakes.
You need to clear your mind of all emotions, and you can't do that if you're preoccupied with ignoring an elephant in the room--or worrying the other party will discover it.
How to Expose Your Baggage
Your better option is to lay your baggage on the table. "George, I'm new at XYZ company, and you're my first prospective acquisition. If my inexperience is going to be a problem for you, let's talk about it now."
Now you have nothing to hide and can be totally present and focused. You've invited the other party to veto this deal, which puts them at ease. It's possible now that this client won't take you and what you offer seriously. Maybe the baggage you bring up does kill the deal then and there. What do you really lose if they walk away? You weren't going to get anywhere anyway; it would have been just a lot of wasted time and effort.
But what if the other guy does not walk off? You've gained his respect as a forthright and honest individual, and have negotiated a clear path on which you can both run without being blindsided way down the road.
Examples of Baggage to Bring Up
Here are some examples of more baggage I've seen in my day.
- Their chief negotiator used to work for us and had a distinctly negative experience.
- You're a woman in a field dominated by men.
- Our main competitor has been their supplier for 12 years.
- We've been remiss in not calling them for three years.
- We've been consistently late in delivery of systems.
I could go on, but hopefully you get the idea. If you're worried about it, bring it up.
Baggage is not really an "us versus them" issue. If you think the people on the other side of the bargaining table could be unhappy to find out something about you or your group's past or policy, don't hide it. It's not about right or wrong. It's about clearing away real or perceived obstacles that will get in the way of the actual problem you're here to solve for the other party.
