Reshaping It All

Copyright © 2011 by Candaché, Inc.

All rights reserved.

Printed in the United States of America

978-1-4336-6973-6

Published by B&H Publishing Group

Nashville, Tennessee

Dewey Decimal Classification: 613.2

Subject Heading: FOOD ADDICTION \ PHYSICAL FITNESS \ SPIRITUAL LIFE

Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version, copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society.

Also used: New King James Version (NKJV), copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982, Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.

Also used: New American Standard Bible (NASB), © the Lockman Foundation, 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977; used by permission.

Also used: The Message, the New Testament in Contemporary English, © 1993 by Eugene H. Peterson, published by NavPress, Colorado Springs, Colorado.

Also used: The King James Version (KJV). Public domain.

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This book is dedicated to the countless women and gentlemen who have written me through the years struggling not only with their weight, but with their spiritual life. You're the reason my thoughts, stories, defeats, and triumphs have been penned. I pray that in sharing some of my experiences it will encourage and inspire you in bigger ways than you could have imagined.

Acknowledgments

From Candace:

To the Lord of my life, Jesus Christ—is thank You enough? You have rocked my world, literally, and flipped it upside down. I'm forever grateful for Your opening my eyes. You're taking me on a journey I'd never have imagined for myself. No matter where life leads or what You allow for me, You are ALWAYS good.

Val—the love of my life. You've not only helped me keep an active, healthy, and fit lifestyle, but you've helped me enjoy it along the way. Thank you for waking me up gently on mornings I've wanted to sleep in, thank you for running at a slower pace just so we could spend time working out together, and thank you for being a leading example to me and our children.

Natasha, Lev, and Maksim—my little ducklings. I hope that one day when you're older, this book will help remind you of all the principles your Papa and I have tried to teach you over the years. It's not always fun to be disciplined about exercise and the foods we put into our body, but it's well worth it in the end. Remember that your body is a holy temple for God to move through. Keep it strong and keep it healthy for Jesus! Thank you for giving me fun stories to share with others. You've taught me more than you'll ever know. I love you with all my heart.

Ford and Jeffery—the best managers and friends one could ask for. You've always represented me with integrity, heart, class, and concern for the bigger picture. Thank you for always understanding my boundaries, limitations, and heart's desires in this crazy entertainment industry. Thank you for your relentless pursuit to seek and create projects for me that will make a difference and for always having my back. Especially when having my back means delivering this pregnant girl food in the middle of an N'Sync concert!

Jennifer Lyell—you've been more than a delight to me and I can't thank you enough for making my first publishing experience super enjoyable. Thank you for praying for me and seeking me out and thanks to everyone at B&H Publishing Group for believing in me and my ministry. I'm looking forward to seeing what the future holds.

Mom and Dad—you truly are my heroes. Mom, you have the biggest heart of any woman I know, and you are the world's best cheerleader. I'm happy I've inherited that part of you as I cheer on my own family. Dad, we get each other. I love your sense of humor and the way you make me laugh. I couldn't have asked God for any better parents than He gave me. I love you both.

Melissa—it's the same, but different. . . . Seriously, I don't know that I've personally seen anyone transform their life the way you have. You've encouraged me to be a better mother and to go deeper with the Lord because of seeing the godly woman you've become.

Bridgette—oh yes, baby, oh yes! Bridgie, I love spending time with you and am so proud of the leader you've become in your Mom to Mom group. Remember, you're Barbara Mandrell, Melissa is Louise, and I'm Irlene.

Kirk—thank you for sharing with me The Way of the Master by Ray Comfort. It opened my eyes to the true gospel and I'm forever grateful. Your family and ministry have set the bar high and continue to inspire me in my walk with Christ.

Dilini—my BFF since the tenth grade. I'm so glad we're beyond walking from store to store getting the most fattening foods as possible and pigging out! Although it was fun when we were eighteen. Here's to keeping each other on track, motivating one another to eat clean, and exercise at least three times a week, and not calling ourselves bad names when we're having puffy day—we are ONLY God's glorious and beautiful girls!

Pete Steinfeld—you gave me the foundation on which to build a healthy body. Thank you for all the expertise, unexpected check up phone calls, motivation, and drive to get my butt moving in the early days.

Stacy Carto—your words have impacted my life more than you'll ever know. Thank you for being obedient to God as well as open and honest to a girl you barely knew. You can expect a huge jewel in your crown for that one!

Darlene Schacht—without whom this book wouldn't be possible. It feels like yesterday you were interviewing me for CWO and now we've published a book together! We're like Thelma and Louise, two women on life's journey together except we've found the secret to it all: Jesus Christ. You're writing has wowed me and I couldn't be more proud of you. Your biblical knowledge and discernment has caused me to listen harder and reach farther than I've ever dreamed. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I think we make a pretty good team.

My shout-outs of gratitude to all those who have contributed to this book in one way or another—Redrock Entertainment Development; James at Anderson Group PR; Naomi and Emily at Ambassador Speakers Bureau; Tara Brooks: thanks for always making me look my best; Mikel Healey: you're a brilliant photographer; and Laura Corby: love your style. Susan Loggans and Dennis Watson: thank you for allowing me to use your beautiful home for the cover photo. To all my Bible study girlfriends who've prayed me through the thought of this book to it's completion: Debbie, Kim, Linda, Ann, Beth, Terri, and Julie. Also, my prayer warrior Stacy W. Much love to pastor Bob and Calvary Chapel in Ft. Lauderdale. Speed, Lisa, Alex, and Mandy: you know I love ya! Tom Caton, for your heart and always making me smile on set, Oh my soul! And my special friend Angela Glover: who warmly reminds me that no matter how important exercise is, it's never more important than my time alone with God. You are a gift from God to me.

From Darlene:

I'd like to thank my niece, writing partner, and friend, Stephanie Fries, for reviewing my rough drafts and for her constant readiness to help. Her attention to detail has been my greatest asset as a writer. Thank you also to Bonnie Hooley, Phyllis Fieber, and Jane Drul who believed I could write before I believed it was true. I'm grateful for your encouragement and support.

I'd also like to thank Ford Englerth for handling the details of our proposal, and the team at B&H Publishing Group for the tireless work you have done. Like a diamond in the rough, you have carefully handled our book, polishing the words, before presenting it as a sparkling gem.

I owe my sincerest gratitude to Candace Cameron Bure for giving me the opportunity of a lifetime of being her writing partner and friend. I'm blessed beyond words by this woman who spent countless hours in prayer for this book. I'm thankful for my husband Michael whose anchor of faith has kept me grounded and hungry for the Word of God. And to Almighty God who like ink flows through my pen and into each word I write.

Contents

Acknowledgments

One: A Full House of My Own

Two: The Inside Scoop

Three: Grab Wings and Soar

Four: Dad's Infinity and Beyond

Five: Heads Up, Eyes Forward, Shoulders Back

Six: Dressed in Designer Genes

Seven: Unlock Your Freedom

Eight: Live an Adorable Life

Nine: Don't Feed the Lions

Ten: Hey There, Delilah

Eleven: Reviewing My Script

Twelve: Life Is a Glass Jar

Thirteen: Discover Contentment

Fourteen: Learn the Art of Dining Out

Fifteen: A House Swept Clean

Sixteen: It Is Well with My Soul

Seventeen: Is Meekness a Weakness?

Eighteen: Leaving a Legacy

Nineteen: Being Good Isn't Good Enough

Notes

ONE

A Full House of My Own

Two nights ago Mom was in the kitchen when she heard Lev screaming, Grandma, Grandma! at the top of his lungs. Actually I think the entire neighborhood heard him. Startled, she ran outside to find Lev, standing on the front porch with tears streaming down his face. Meanwhile, Samson, our friendly canine giant, was proudly standing by, displaying his latest hunting trophy—a Muscovy duck. Make that a dead duck.

It was a little too gruesome for Mom's liking and Lev's sensitive soul too for that matter, who had just witnessed the aftermath of the hunt. Samson's tail didn't skip a beat as it waved a flag, announcing his victory.

Arriving at home, I was addressed by three children and one concerned Grandma who relayed each detail in color. Upon further investigation, we discovered that Samson had tangled with the wrong duck, leaving five orphaned ducklings waiting in a nearby drain for Momma Muscovy to come waddling home.

Now three kids and five ducks were crying, which put a whole new spin on the once cheerful tune, Six Little Ducks Went Out to Play.

The next morning my daughter Natasha and the neighbors rescued the ducklings, packed their feathered bags, and moved them into our guest room. After all, Val and I only have three kids, three dogs, one hamster, a tortoise, and two busy careers on our plate; what's five more beaks to feed?

After looking into the persuasive eyes of my youngest son, Maks, I agreed to take them in for a week or so but also thought it best to give the Wildlife Center a call. They said to bring the ducklings into the center where they would care for them until it was time to introduce them back into the wild. I got the feeling that their idea of the wild was as far away from the Bure family as possible.

We packed the ducks into a cardboard box, along with some grass, a bowl of water, and one of Samson's favorite chew toys (no, not their mother) and made our way out to the car.

Natasha, being the drama queen that she is, cried the entire way there, but once she saw the ducks settling in, she agreed that it was the best plan.

I'm glad we rescued the ducklings, disappointed that my doggie annihilated their mom, and thrilled that I'm not adding five ducks to our already full house. We all miss our feathered little friends, but as cute as they were, that chirping had started to ring in our ears! So there you have a glimpse into the life of a Hollywood star; glamorous, huh?

Life can be glamorous at times when I'm traveling to far-off places, shooting a movie, or meeting fellow celebrities, but behind the scenes I live what most would consider an ordinary life:

• I drive my kids to and from school most days.

• I participate in classroom mom stuff.

• I'm on the board of our school's annual auction committee each year.

• I take our dogs for walks and feed them.

• We eat dinner at home almost every night.

• I work out with friends—not a personal trainer.

• I take an exercise class on Monday mornings in our school gym with a bunch of other moms.

• I'm in charge of paying the bills, writing checks, and filing each month.

• I fly economy most of the time—not first class.

• I shop for our groceries.

• I don't have a nanny, a chef, a personal trainer, a driver, or even a personal assistant (and boy, do I wish I did some days)!

• I mop my floors often because our dogs like to swim in the pool then come in the house wet with mud on their feet—and let's not forget the feathers!

• I'm a stain-removal fanatic, and I'm good at it!

• And like everyone else—I hang out at Starbucks!

Yes, in many ways my life is ordinary, but it's also EXTRAordinary because of my relationship with the Most High God.

I pray this book will be more than a weight-loss book and far more than my testimony. I pray that by it faith will be your compass in this journey through weight loss to freedom, as it has also been mine. Not only is God wanting to walk this journey with you; He is ready to equip you to handle the job. Why? Because He is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us (Eph. 3:20 NKJV). And besides that, He cares so deeply for you that even the hairs on your head are numbered.

I've known God since the age of twelve, but even though I called myself a Christian and said the sinner's prayer, I wasn't living like one. It's different now. Today, rather than just walking alone under the umbrella of grace, I desire to walk there in fellowship with Him—a fellowship that has led me on a journey to freedom in Christ.

I've made many decisions about work because of my Christian walk. I've turned down several TV series to stay at home and raise my children. I've also turned down other roles because of content issues I feel strongly about.

I never thought I'd be someone who'd have the opportunity to speak at churches and share my testimony with thousands of people, but I can see now how God is using the success of Full House to reach millions of people for Him. How cool is that?

It's not every day that an opportunity like Full House comes along, but it did, and I'm glad that I was there to be a part of it all. I loved every day that I spent growing up in front of the camera and working on the set with the others. Acting always has and always will be a passion of mine. However, once family came along, I felt a desire to adjust my priorities.

Marrying an NHL hockey star and having three kids will change anyone's life, and it changed mine immensely. Suddenly I went from being a television star living in Hollywood to starring in my own role as a wife and mother at home with my kids. Because I love my career, the decision to be a stay-at-home mom was a tough one. We were living in Calgary, my oldest child Natasha was born, and I had started meeting with agents in LA again. After being in LA for a week and a half, I realized I was miserable. I hadn't seen my husband Val in ten days, and by the time I'd get home each night, Natasha was already asleep. Anyone who's a mom knows how tough that can be!

Shortly after returning home, Val and I sat down for a talk, and I poured out my thoughts.

Val's response was more than sympathetic, supportive, and encouraging, which was exactly what I needed to hear. While he had been fully supportive of my dreams, part of him quietly hoped I'd come to this conclusion. This reassurance that we were on the same page was great. We both looked forward to the opportunity it offered me to attend his games and keep cheering him on.

Both Val and I have never had a single regret in making our decision. I love working, but I also love the fact that God nudges us along through the seasons of our lives into unexpected places.

That season of my life was wonderful in so many ways; I was a young woman ready to open a new chapter in my life as a wife and a mom. The smile on my face went a long way, but at times it was covering a lot of insecurities and unknowns in my life. It was a season of blessings and a season of struggle, and during that time I took my first steps into the cycle of bulimia.

It started in Montreal. I was nineteen, engaged, and living with Val—as a good Christian girl ought not to do. Perhaps if I had been living and walking in faith, I wouldn't have started the cycle of binging and purging. But I did. One would expect that my situation had everything to do with the pin-thin expectations of Hollywood—the desire that so many starlets have to be thin. After all, I did fit the role of DJ Tanner, the sister with the Charlie Brown cheeks, who once went on a crash diet herself. But no, that wasn't me.

It had nothing to do with body image or trying to lose weight but had everything to do with adjustment and fear. As I prepared for marriage, had stopped working (as I had been since I was five), and was living in a foreign city, I felt that I had nothing left of my old life to turn to for balance. I was thrown (albeit, happily) into a world I knew nothing about—a housewife, a hockey wife, and soon after, a mom.

Loneliness set in during those years when Val was on the road, as it does for most hockey wives. We enjoyed wonderful summers together, but his time with the NHL essentially felt like a six-month road trip, at which time I was alone. Had it not been for our telephone calls two to three times a day, I don't know what I would have done.

What I did do is binge. There's something oddly comforting about food or, better said, the thought of food that tricks our minds into believing that it can and will fill our void. And so I listened to the lie hoping that it too would fill mine. In the beginning I only did it when Val was on the road—when I was by myself: me, the TV, and my food. One bite, one mouthful, one spoonful, then two . . . until I was disgusted with the amount I'd consumed. Hoping to undo my discomfort and guilt, I would purge.

With all things bad, the more you do it, the more you get wrapped up in it. Thus it started happening when I wasn't alone—until I finally got caught.

There it was, out in the open. I stood face-to-face with my dad, watching him tear up as he discovered my shame. I knew he was afraid and worried for me. And since I love him so much, it broke my heart. I never wanted my actions to hurt the people I love.

English writer, Monica Baldwin writes, What makes humility so desirable is the marvelous thing it does to us; it creates in us a capacity for the closest possible intimacy with God.

Humiliation depicts mankind as broken and weak before God, yet it holds power and freedom to those it affects. Getting caught, embarrassed, and ashamed was finally the turning point for me. The shame of admitting the lie in my heart was the truth that set me free.

What I didn't realize at the time is that my heart was longing for the things of this world. I ran to comfort food instead of running to God. I discovered my sin, but I hadn't discovered that my heart was in the wrong place. I sought moral reformation instead of a spiritual transformation. I had known who He was, but I still hadn't grasped who I was in His sight.

After reading a book my brother Kirk gave to me, The Way of the Master by Ray Comfort, my life and walk with God changed forever! It spoke of the Ten Commandments and revealed my