Tweet This
When Clint Eastwood appeared on The Tonight Show to promote Jersey Boys, Fallon said, “I love the music. I love the characters. My parents are from Brooklyn and we knew people like this. The way it was shot, the cars, the scenery, it reminded me of my parents' wedding photo.” Fallon reached behind his desk and pulled out an old photo of his parents walking hand-in-hand in a neighborhood that looked liked it was set in the movie. Fallon may have little in common with Eastwood, but in that moment they shared a mutual love for the period in which the movie was based.
Celebrities, political leaders, and people from all walks of life enjoy Fallon because he enjoys them. Fallon is interesting to watch because he’s interested in his guests. And that makes Fallon likable, which is why he’s dominating the late night ratings.
One technique that Fallon uses brilliantly in nearly every interview is finding common ground with his guest. Sometimes Fallon finds common ground simply by reminding the guest of an experience they share on a personal level. He told Julia Roberts that his baby, Winnie, had just turned one. “Do you have any advice for me?” He asked Roberts, the mother of three children.
Sometimes Fallon finds common ground in music, an obvious passion of his. Fallon has interviewed New Jersey Governor Chris Christie several times. When Christie isn’t chiding Fallon for the jokes he tells at the Governor’s expense, the common thread in each interview is their mutual admiration for the music of Bruce Springsteen. At other times Fallon will find common ground through shared past experiences. When
Fallon’s ability to connect with people offers a clue into how to connect with your prospect, client, or customer. I was recently invited to be the keynote speaker for a national retail design chain of stores. I had prepared by interviewing some of the company’s top performers. I spent time with the company’s most successful saleswoman to learn her techniques. The first thing she did when approaching a prospect? Find common ground. She looked for any hint that would give her an opportunity to connect. She once saw a license plate from her home state and that triggered a conversation about where she and the prospect had grown up. She looks for any indication that might trigger a mutual connection: schools, pets, families, vacation photos, etc.
Once Fallon finds common ground, he lets his guests shine. When someone says something even remotely humorous, Fallon laughs the loudest. Pro golfers Rory McIlroy and Tiger Woods recently paid a visit to The Tonight Show studio to promote Nike’s new line of golf clubs. They’re athletes, not comedians, and yet the two golfers tried to make some light-hearted banter with the host. Some of their remarks had Fallon buckled over with laughter. Fallon appreciates humor and genuinely gets a kick from people who give it their best. The guest might not be the funniest person in the world, but you wouldn’t know it by watching Fallon’s reaction.
We tend to like people with whom we have something in common, people who seem to take a genuine interest in what we have to say, and who make us feel like we’re the most amazing person in the room. Several years ago I wrote a book titled, Fire Them Up, where I interviewed some of the world’s most inspiring leaders in business and education. When I asked employees and students why they found their leaders to be likable I lost count of the times I heard remarks such as:
“She gives me her full attention.”
“He makes me feel like the most important person in the room.”
“She makes eye contact and really listens to what I have to say.”
“Whenever she sees me in the hall she smiles, lights up, and often asks me about my family or personal interests. She makes me feel like she genuinely cares about me as a person.”
On a recent plane trip from San Francisco to Orlando, I sat next to a gentleman who looked to be about twenty years older than I am. We spoke briefly and I learned that he was going to be a guest on the Golf Channel to talk about his friendships with players like Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer. As a golf fan, it was easy to find common ground and I asked him to share some stories. One story led to another and to another. Leaving the plane he turned to me and said, “That was one of the most interesting conversations I’ve ever had.” As I walked away I realized that I had done very little of the talking. He found our conversation to be interesting because I was interested in him!
So if you want to be more likable at work, on a sales pitch, a networking event, a cocktail party, or in any situation where it pays to have people enjoy your company, take these three lessons from Jimmy Fallon:
1. Find common ground with the person you’re speaking to.
2. Ask questions and spend 75% of the conversation listening to their answers.
3. Make them feel as though they’re the funniest, most important, and most fascinating person in the room.
If you follow all three steps it will be nearly impossible for someone to dislike you and, if they still don’t like you, it says much more about them than it says about you!
Carmine Gallo is a communication coach, keynote speaker, and author including The Presentation Secrets of Steve Jobs and his latest Talk Like TED: The 9 Public Speaking Secrets Of The World’s Top Minds.
