FlashReportToo tired to take offense: When depletion promotes forgiveness☆
Highlights
► We examined the interactive effects of depletion and offense type on forgiveness. ► Depleted (vs. non-depleted) individuals were less forgiving of severe offenses. ► Depleted (vs. non-depleted) individuals were more forgiving of mild offenses. ► Mediation by perceived offense severity also emerged. ► Depletion yields prosocial outcomes under certain circumstances in relationships.
Introduction
Imagine returning home after an exhausting day to a partner who treats you in either a severely or mildly negative manner. How would you evaluate the severity of your partner's bad behavior, and how likely would you be to forgive it? In the present research, we test the hypotheses that (a) depleted (vs. non-depleted) individuals will be less forgiving of severe offenses, but more forgiving of mild offenses; and (b) this Depletion × Offense Type interaction will be mediated by individuals' perceptions of offense severity.
The negative consequences of self-regulation failure, the process by which individuals fail to act in accord with their goals (Baumeister, Vohs, & Tice, 2007), are legion. Poor self-regulatory ability, whether measured at a dispositional level or manipulated through depletion procedures, impairs a broad range of interpersonal processes and outcomes (for a review see Luchies, Finkel, & Fitzsimons, 2011). For example, people with low (vs. high) dispositional self-regulatory strength are more likely to be unfaithful to their romantic partner (Pronk, Karremans, & Wigboldus, 2011) and to perpetrate intimate partner violence (Finkel, DeWall, Slotter, Oaten, & Foshee, 2009). Similarly, individuals involved in relationships whose self-regulatory resources have been experimentally depleted tend to show as much interest in attractive alternatives as single individuals do (Ritter, Karremans, & van Schie, 2010) and are especially aggressive in response to partner provocation (Finkel et al., 2009).
Of particular relevance to the present research, poor self-regulation makes individuals less forgiving when confronting offenses enacted by their romantic partner (Finkel & Campbell, 2001), particularly for severe offenses (Pronk, Karremans, Overbeek, Vermulst, & Wigboldus, 2010). Forgiveness involves overriding destructive impulses in favor of constructive responses (McCullough, Worthington, & Rachal, 1997), and research has demonstrated that depleted self-regulatory strength undermines the ability to forgive (or “accommodate”) in response to hurtful or inconsiderate partner behaviors (Finkel & Campbell, 2001). Individuals with low dispositional self-regulatory strength also experience more ruminative thoughts about severe offenses, which predict less forgiveness (Pronk et al., 2010). Taken together, the extant literature paints a bleak portrait for the role of diminished self-regulatory strength in relationship dynamics, and in forgiveness specifically. But is the effect of depletion on interpersonal outcomes universally negative?
Recent research suggests the answer is no. For instance, in one study the natural decline in self-regulatory strength that accompanies age led older adults to offer blunt and, consequently, helpful advice to an obese teenager seeking to learn about what might be causing her life problems (Apfelbaum, Krendl, & Ambady, 2010). Objective observers rated the adults with low self-regulatory strength as especially empathic. In an experimental study with a young adult sample, depleted (vs. non-depleted) Whites communicated more directly with a Black partner, enjoyed the interaction more, and were perceived as less prejudiced by Black observers (Apfelbaum & Sommers, 2009). It seems that under certain circumstances the self-regulated response (e.g., censoring speech) is maladaptive because it is overly cerebral and stilted. Diminished self-regulatory strength, therefore, yields smoother and more effective interaction. Nonetheless, existing research provides few insights into whether such consequences of depletion can also emerge in intimate relationships (e.g., when one is the victim of an offense).
Prior studies have shown that dispositional self-regulatory strength facilitates forgiveness only when offenses are severe (Pronk et al., 2010). Our study extends this work in three main ways. First, we objectively controlled severity with pretested offenses, meaning that participants' subsequent severity assessments tapped their subjective judgments of standardized offenses. Second, the methods employed herein focused on in-the-moment responses to potential romantic offenses, as opposed to responses to recalled offenses, which allowed us to avoid the bias that frequently accompanies memories of relationship processes and events (e.g., Karney and Frye, 2002, Luchies et al., 2011). Finally, and most importantly, by experimentally manipulating not only offense severity but also self-regulatory strength, the present study allowed for causal conclusions regarding their interactive effects on forgiveness.
We expected that depleted (vs. non-depleted) individuals would exhibit greater forgiveness of mild offenses, a hypothesis that contrasts the null effect found by Pronk et al. (2010). Our rationale for this prediction is that depletion can enhance positive responses when prosocial cues are present (Fennis, Janssen, & Vohs, 2009). We hypothesized that the circumstances surrounding mild offenses “pull for” forgiveness, but when people have sufficient self-regulatory resources they might overanalyze the offense and convince themselves that forgiveness is not warranted.
In sum, we predicted a crossover interaction of depletion and offense type on forgiveness. Specifically, we expected that depleted (vs. non-depleted) individuals would be less forgiving of severe offenses, consistent with prior research (e.g., Finkel & Campbell, 2001). Conversely, we hypothesized that depleted (vs. non-depleted) individuals would be more forgiving of mild offenses. In addition, we expected the interaction effect of depletion and offense type on forgiveness to be mediated by perceived severity, the extent to which individuals thought the offense was severe and how much it upset them. In other words, depleted individuals should be especially forgiving of mild offenses because they are too tired to care about the offense in the first place.
Section snippets
Participants
Seventy-two undergraduates (39 women) involved in a romantic relationship of at least three months (M = 19.69, SD = 17.75) participated for partial course credit. We excluded four participants from final analyses because of technical problems with the Stroop task or hypothesis suspicion, and thus retained a final sample of 68 (36 women).
Procedure
To manipulate self-regulatory strength, we randomly assigned participants to one of two versions of the Stroop color-naming task. In this task, a color word (e.g.,
Manipulation check
The depletion manipulation was effective. Participants who completed the 200-trial version of the Stroop felt it was significantly more difficult and mentally exhausting (M = 2.91, SD = .93) than participants who completed the 20-trial version (M = 1.72, SD = .63), F(1, 64) = 9.89, p = .003, ηp2 = .13.
Effects on forgiveness
A 2 (Depletion: control vs. depletion) × 2 (Offense Type: mild vs. severe) between-subjects analysis of variance revealed a main effect of offense type on forgiveness, F(1, 64) = 36.98, p < .001, ηp2 = .37.
Discussion
Although depletion of self-regulatory strength has historically been linked to negative interpersonal outcomes, new research indicates that it can sometimes yield prosocial behavior (e.g., Apfelbaum & Sommers, 2009). In the present study, depletion yielded less forgiveness in response to severe romantic offenses, replicating prior research (e.g., Finkel & Campbell, 2001), but yielded greater forgiveness in response to mild romantic offenses. Additionally, the interactive effect of depletion and
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2016, Advances in Experimental Social PsychologyCitation Excerpt :But the contextual effects of stress extend beyond violence. As noted, one way stress affects relationships is by limiting self-regulation, and a growing body of research demonstrates the benefits of self-regulation for relationships (Balliet, Li, & Joireman, 2011; Finkel & Campbell, 2001; Pronk & Righetti, 2015; Righetti, Finkenauer & Finkel, 2013; Stanton & Finkel, 2012; Vohs, Finkenauer, & Baumeister, 2011). For example, Finkel and Campbell (2001) demonstrated that self-regulation was associated with the ability to accommodate—ie, to respond constructively rather than destructively to a partner's potentially destructive behavior.
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2016, Journal of Experimental Social PsychologyCitation Excerpt :Depletion of self-regulatory resources is thought to enhance the “default” response to situations, whether negative or positive. In the relationships domain, researchers have reasoned that ego depletion can yield harmful outcomes when impulses are negative or selfish (e.g., greater interest in romantic alternatives, Ritter, Karremans, & van Schie, 2010; more partner-related aggression, Finkel, DeWall, Slotter, Oaten, & Foshee, 2009), but salutary outcomes when impulses are positive or communal (e.g., greater willingness to sacrifice, Righetti, Finkenauer, & Finkel, 2013; more forgiveness of mild offenses, Stanton & Finkel, 2012). Importantly, the context and cues surrounding an interpersonal situation can determine the valence of an impulse (cf. Fennis, Janssen, & Vohs, 2009).
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2016, Journal of Experimental Social PsychologyCitation Excerpt :Indeed, studies have shown that when reminded of values that go beyond egoistic needs (e.g. values concerning justice and charity), people are better able to exert higher self-control when facing threats to their self (Burson, Crocker, & Mischkowski, 2012). Demonstrating the broader connection between self-control and pro-sociality, studies have also found that diminished self-regulatory ability is associated with less willingness to help others (DeWall, Baumeister, Gailliot, & Maner, 2007), less willingness to forgive (Stanton & Finkel, 2012) and greater tendency to exploit others (e.g., Mead, Baumeister, Gino, Schweitzer, & Ariely, 2009). While indirect, these findings are consistent with the possibility that humility can boost self-regulatory capability by virtue of the associated pro-social orientation.
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2015, Current Opinion in PsychologyCitation Excerpt :Righetti, Finkenauer and Finkel [42••] for example showed that in established, communal relationships, having full access to one's capacity for self-control prevents people from making certain types of sacrifice for their partner. Similarly, Stanton and Finkel [43] showed that when an offense is minor, having self-control capacity prevents people from automatically showing high levels of forgiveness toward their partner. It thus seems that executive control does not ‘blindly’ stimulate pro-relational behavior — it strongly depends on which behavior is automatic, and which behavior represents a long-term goal.
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Sarah C. E. Stanton conducted this research (under the direction of Eli J. Finkel) in partial fulfillment of her undergraduate honors thesis requirements at Northwestern University. The authors thank Sarah Johnson, Caroline Fitz, and Evan Apfelbaum for their contributions.