News that Denver restaurateur and philanthropist Noel Cunningham died by suicide stunned the community Tuesday afternoon after his family made the announcement.
Even those who had never met him but knew of his tireless work to make the world a better place had to stop working just to wrap their minds around it.
“I walked around the office for 5 minutes saying, ‘I can’t believe it,’ ” said psychologist Sally Spencer- Thom as, chief executive of the Carson J. Spencer Foundation, which focuses on suicide prevention. “It’s unfathomable. You just can’t imagine someone who brought such a shining light into the world struggling with such dark thoughts.”
Friends say that Cunningham, 62, had been having some tough times.
“He’d lost a lot of weight and hadn’t been himself lately,” said friend Jim Monaghan.
The Dublin-born owner of Strings, on 17th Avenue, was known for his upbeat spirit and focus on the needs of others.
“In no way does this diminish the significance of all his contributions,” said former Gov. Bill Ritter, who will deliver the eulogy at Cunningham’s funeral Friday. “Not a single good act that Noel Cunningham did on behalf of others (is changed by this).”
His acts of generosity and kindness stretched from Denver to Ethiopia.
Back when he opened his restaurant — and no one knew who he was — he teamed with then- Rocky Mountain News food editor Marty Meitus to stop people as they left the grocery store and offer to make dinner for them with what they had in their basket.
He also co-founded Taste of the Nation with Pat Miller, the restaurant critic known as the “Gabby Gourmet,” which by 2010 had raised more than $78 million for 450 groups working in the U.S. to end hunger and poverty.
He started Quarters for Kids, which taught children about local hunger and homelessness, and 4Quarters for Kids, which raised money to feed and educate kids in Ethiopia.
And last year, he launched “A Dinner of Unconditional Love,” which benefited Dr. Rick Hodes, an American doctor living in Ethiopia whose mission is to help heal the poor.
Daniel Recht, a friend who worked with Cunningham on that dinner, plans to pay that feeling forward. “Now is the time to honor him in an unconditionally loving way,” he said. “His memory alone is a blessing for all who knew him.”
Suicide-prevention experts say that when a public figure such as Cunningham commits suicide, it’s human nature to seek reasons or a specific event.
“People will probably try to explain it or look for one answer,” said Jarrod Hindman , program director of the Colorado Office of Suicide Prevention. “But with suicide, there are usually so many contributing factors. Too many people try to fight these battles on their own, and for men in particular, asking for help is sometimes very difficult to do. Especially if you are a high-profile member of the community, you don’t want people to know you are battling some of these things.”
The majority of people who die by suicide are middle-age white men, said Spencer-Thomas, a psychologist focused on suicide-prevention research.
“Often it’s like a perfect storm of many things. Loss is the common thread,” she said. “The primary thing is loss of a relationship, but it can also be financial loss, job loss, prestige or status loss.”
When complicated by mental-health issues such as anxiety or depression, she said, the brain is affected and “prevented from good problem- solving. They think, ‘I failed,’ or, ‘Things will always be this way.’ They don’t understand this could be depression, and maybe it’s time to check in with the doctor.”
When her brother committed suicide seven years ago, she learned that friends and family often spend too much time lost “in the canyon of why.”
“We can’t spend a lot of time that way,” she said. “We have no idea the internal demons (Cunningham) was struggling with. He might have shown the world this one part of himself, but clearly something else was going on.”
The important thing, she said, “should be celebrating his life.”
As friends prepare for the funeral Friday, they are focused on Cunningham’s huge heart and enduring legacy.
“We want people to remember the Noel Cunningham we all knew,” Monaghan said, “a man whose compassion and generosity was without limits.”
Colleen O’Connor: 303-954-1083 or coconnor@denverpost.com
Visitation, service planned for restaurateur, philanthropist
Funeral services for Noel Cunningham are scheduled for 11 a.m. Friday at St. John’s Episcopal Cathedral, 1350 Washington St. in Denver. Visitation is planned for 5 to 7 p.m. Thursday at Olinger Hampden Chapel, 8600 E. Hampden Ave. in Denver.
Help prevent suicide
If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal, immediately call 800-273-TALK (800-273- 8255). The national suicide hotline is staffed around the clock with certified members of the American Association of Suicidology.