Is there a better term than 'housewife'?

My goodness but the Modern Woman does like to complicate things. A survey this week by Mothercare has revealed that she has turned against the title "housewife" with two-thirds of those questioned saying they prefer to be known as "stay-at-home mums".

If it were a straight choice between the two, I would concur. "Housewife" recalls too strongly the wasp-waisted 1950s figure outwardly thrilling to the latest advances in domestic technology while necking tranquillisers to dull the pain of frustrated ambition. "Stay-at-home mum" at least limits the suggestion of servitude to your offspring.

In the Guardian office (I'm told – I'm a stay-at-home journalist), there are howls of protest about the use of "mum". But personally, as the current – um, primary caregiver? – to a five-month-old I would be delighted if someone saw fit to bestow upon me a name so redolent of competence and ease. At the moment, I refer to myself as "shambling amateur", "ambulant pacifier" or "milch cow". "Baby wrangler", if I'm having a good day.

There's no reason you should refer to yourself as a wife or mother at all, of course. But most of us, when someone asks, tend to reply with reference to whatever activity is currently taking up most of our time. Politeness dictates that you should provide enquirers with a brief but accurate precis of what you do, not a thousand-yard stare and a murmured, "I contain multitudes".

The problem with the formulation "stay-at-home mum" is that it admits too many interpretations. The listener must compute whether you mean it helpfully ("Here, I give you simple facts!"), smugly ("I have chosen not to work and feel pity/contempt for those who have not chosen likewise"), defensively ("I'm telling you upfront that I am not a currently productive economic unit, so stop – even if you haven't started – judging me") or some sticky conflation of the three.

When I am restored to my full strength, I intend to opt for something unambiguous – "overlord", "O Captain, my captain", "The Alpha and Omega". Anything will be better than the name my husband currently calls me, anyway, which I've temporarily adopted as my new byline, above.