San Francisco: a limited, non fancy guide to the weird.

I have a friend visiting SF. You have a friend visiting SF. We all have friends visiting SF. This is what I wrote up. It’s far from complete, and it’s far from fancy. I have other recos on tiki bars, ritzy places, classic SF shit, sunny places… but I’m too lazy, for now. So here’s what you get. Feel free to share, add to, and to not criticize 

Here Goes..

If you have an early evening-late night to kill in San Francisco, I would say:
Head straight to the Golden Gate Bridge/Crissy Field area, get that over with. Plus you may catch a beautiful sunset. Pro tip - After, head to Fort Mason to check out The Interval at Long Now Foundation for some exquisite gin and alcohols.
Now, you have two choices - one, go to the coast and chase the sunset at Lands End/Sutro Baths OR head back towards town and check out Lombard St and the city lights.
If you choose the beach area, and you’re feeling extra adventurous, try out the dumplings in the Richmond district. I recommend Shanghai Dumpling King and Shanghai House. Get the soup dumplings, you will not be disappointed.
If you choose Lombard and the city lights, perhaps check out North Beach and get some dinner. For drinks, I like 15 Romolo. If you have enough time, definitely get yourself a ticket to Beach Blanket Babylon.  
+++
Early afternoon - afternoon.
Wandering in the Mission. Start at Guerrero and 17th and walk down to Valencia street. Walk until you can’t any more or get stimulus overload. Cute boutiques, delicious chocolate, inviting cafes, and plain old weird shit awaits. Check out: Borderlands Book store, Craftsman & Wolves, Dandelion Chocolate, Paxton’s Gate, Tartine, 826 Valencia and everythingfuckingelse.
After that, go for drinks and a late dinner in the deep Mission/Bernal. They’re totally 420 friendly. For drinks I like: El Rio, Virgil’s, Rock Bar, and Royal Cuckoo. For food I like: Blue Plate, The Front Porch, Baby Blues, and Sweet Basil.
+++
For the sunset or a look out point. (Karl dependent)
Tank Hill: Easy to drive to, easy to park at, easy to walk up. Amazing views of all sides of the city.
Twin Peaks: Easy to drive/park. Tourist spot. Well worth it.
Billy Goat Hill: Noe valley. That famous SF rope swing. Very fog prone.
+++
Early morning:
GO TO ALCATRAZ. Book tickets well in advance. Then go to brunch. If you’re feeling ritzy, maybe try theFerry Building area or Foreign Cinema in the Mission.
+++
Tourist spots always suck. But you always see at least one, or two, OK maybe more than that.
Tourist things:
Fisherman’s Wharf/Pier 39: only worth it if you haven’t seen seals/sea lions before. Fuckers are loud, smelly, and really damn cute. This excites people of all ages, kids, parents, teenagers, grannies. There’s an over priced farmer’s market, kids jumping on a trampoline for $40, and a wannabe aquarium. Oh, and shitty food. But hey - you saw sea lions!
Lombard St: this attraction is worth it because it takes up a max of 30 minutes AND it’s pretty damn weird. Do it if you’re in the neighborhood, or have less than an hour to kill.
Golden Gate Bridge/Crissy Field: you gotta do it.
Coit Tower: SKIP
Painted Ladies/Hayes Valley/Alamo Square: Do it. Takes 20 minutes tops at Alamo Square and then Hayes Valley is one of my favorite neighborhoods. Great eating, drinking, and shopping. Do not miss the fucking ice cream, seriously. Smitten Ice Cream.
Alcatraz: DO IT. Seriously. DO IT. Prettiest boat ride ever. AND GET THE AUDIO GUIDE.
Union Square: If you’re going shopping anyways, go ahead and do it. Decent view from the top of Macy’s at the Cheesecake factory.
China Town: If you’re one of those white people who always visits the Chinatown in every city and eats dim sum for dinner, do it. Also do it if you feel like getting cheap plastic trinkets that smell like moth balls. Also do it if you’re down for some delicious Chinese pastries, BRING ON THE PORK BUNS.
Ghiradelli Square: what is this even. SKIP.
North Beach: Ex-College kids and garlicky Italian food. Not bad. Also - Beach Blanket Babylon is A MUST DO.
San Francisco Ferry Building: Saturday’s flea market is a yes. Also, weekdays in the Ferry building are nice. Go all out and make a ressie for The Slanted Door.
Twin Peaks: YUP. DO IT. Great view of SF. Other great views = Tank Hill & my house. 

My spreadsheet: http://bit.ly/1VWPyoZ

Linkable reco: http://bit.ly/1O9WygS

i needed a headshot for something. hoping this will work?!

I appreciate Kenneth’s roses, he responds by asking me for a signed note for a loan and then an emoji-only conversation ensues. Finally, pictures of the roses in question with my hand for scale. 

Welcome to the jungle. 🌴🍃🌱🌊 (at Del Playa Drive, Isla Vista)

Top 40’s radio takes its toll on Kenneth. 

Beelitz-Heilstätten, a district of the town, is home to a large hospital complex of about 60 buildings including a cogeneration plant erected from 1898 on according to plans of architect Heino Schmieden. Originally designed as a sanatorium by the Berlin workers’ health insurance corporation, the complex from the beginning of World War I on was a military hospital of the Imperial German Army. During October and November 1916, Adolf Hitler recuperated at Beelitz-Heilstätten after being wounded in the leg at the Battle of the Somme.

In 1945, Beelitz-Heilstätten was occupied by Red Army forces, and the complex remained a Soviet military hospital until 1995, well after the German reunification. In December 1990, Erich Honecker was admitted to Beelitz-Heilstätten after being forced to resign as the head of the East German government.

Following the Soviet withdrawal, attempts were made to privatize the complex, but they were not entirely successful. Some sections of the hospital remain in operation as a neurological rehabilitation center and as a center for research and care for victims of Parkinson’s disease. The remainder of the complex, including the surgery, the psychiatric ward, and a rifle range, was abandoned in 2000. As of 2007, none of the abandoned hospital buildings or the surrounding area were secured, giving the area the feel of a ghost town. This has made Beelitz-Heilstätten a destination for curious visitors and a film set for movies like The Pianist in 2002, the Rammstein music video^[7] Mein Herz brennt, and Valkyrie in 2008. (Wikipedia) 

But I don’t want to go among mad people,“ Alice remarked.
"Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here. ☕️ (at Beelitzer Heilstätten)

Kenneth talks jet streams, global warming, and cat food.

[7/14/14 3:13:27 PM] Kenneth Ng: we usually don’t get this humid
[7/14/14 3:14:07 PM] Chelsea Ng: ya that’s odd
[7/14/14 3:14:39 PM] Kenneth Ng: that is because of the storm in japan
[7/14/14 3:14:58 PM] Kenneth Ng: the jet stream is bringing in the moisture here and the cold in the midwest
[7/14/14 3:15:08 PM] Kenneth Ng: the weather is really strange this year
[7/14/14 3:15:17 PM] Chelsea Ng: oh that’s interesting
[7/14/14 3:15:48 PM] Kenneth Ng: yeah, maybe the weather is really changing
[7/14/14 3:15:59 PM] Chelsea Ng: haha
[7/14/14 3:16:02 PM] Chelsea Ng: you’re just buying it now?
[7/14/14 3:16:07 PM] Kenneth Ng: i just got 6 more cans of cat food

Thoughts about Thailand

alright. i’m finally ready to express how i felt about my thailand vacation. it was just as amazing and beautiful as it was eye opening. tim and i got to see one gorgeous sunset after the next, followed by delicious food, followed by cheap beachside accommodations, followed by adventures in the rainforest, and so on and so on. by now you have seen my pictures and know what a ridiculously beautiful place thailand is. however, it was hard to fully enjoy our vacation when every time we turned around we were reminded that someone else was suffering.

it started with the mass amounts of stray dogs on the streets. broken limbs dangling as they hopped from shade spot to shade spot. flies buzzing around their faces, and giant skin growths protruding from their abdomens. then i saw the puppies for sale in the 100deg weather and sun in bangkok. it didn’t stop there.

i wanted to desperately to see an elephant up close - to potentially ride them or play with them. somewhere in the back of my head, my mother’s voice said “uhmmm STEPHANIE are you sure an elephant wants you to ride them?!” i decided to do some quick research to see what kinds of conditions the elephants had. the results were not good, only one company seemed to humanely treat their elephants. so the elephant idea was out. next, i remembered seeing photos of friends with tigers in thailand - how cool would that be? again, my mother’s voiced popped in to my head “STEPHANIE, that is a WILD animal, why the F*** would it want to hang out with you and not eat you, that thing has GOT to be on drugs”. as usual, after a quick internet search, cindy’s warning was confirmed. (anything to do with animals, Cindy knows what’s up, anything else? forget it.) thus. we decided against any animal tourism and stuck to ridiculously gold and beautiful temples. 

at this point, i thought this was the end of “stuff i couldn’t handle seeing or i’d end up crying” but it was not. on the last leg of our trip, we stayed in a BEAUTIFUL and top notch resort, the Jamahkiri on Koh Tao. one night, we decided to go for a late swim to enjoy our remaining time on the island. this quickly turned into a “i should also get a drink, with fruit in it, lots of it”. that night, the bar tender was feeling rather chatty. he asked if he could talk with us to practice his english because in the low season, he didn’t get much practice. i loved the idea and welcomed him to join our conversation. if i have inherited one thing from my mother, it’s the odd ability of always asking the right questions to reveal why a person is unhappy. i asked about his life, where he was from, what his family did and so on, his answers went a little something like this

“i’m from myanmar - burma, my family still lives there. i moved to thailand because there is more work here" 

"i work at least 10 hours per day”

“i get 2 days of vacation a month, but i’m lucky, many people only get one or none at all”

“many people from myanmar here, we are cheap labor for the thailand”

fantastic, so the resort i was enjoying so much, was built by and serviced by underpaid and overworked burmese people.  after speaking to him, i began to realize that not everyone i saw on the streets was speaking thai, in fact it was almost 50/50 - 50% thai and 50% something i couldn’t quite recognize. 

on top of the burmese labor force, i began to notice young thai women being shepherded around by older white males - they were everywhere. this was something i was aware of before coming to thailand, but it still turned my stomach into knots each time i was confronted with it. 

it was a tough pill to swallow. i had known that thailand was a developing country and that i wasn’t going to only see rainbows and sunshine - that people had to care for themselves first before others and certainly before animals - but to be confronted with it, every day was difficult to say the least. i found myself wanting to tip every service person at least 5 euros (absurd amount in thai money/standard) and wanting to adopt every sad puppy or kitten. it just wasn’t possible. i had to avert my eyes. i felt useless and terrible. 

however, the hardest part to digest was yet to come. it happened in my reflection. how can we westerners support this crap? how can we pay money to see drugged tigers and punished elephants? how can we support these hotels who essentially have slaves? how can we honestly have “such an amazing vacation” amidst all this suffering? how can we up and move to thailand and become happy go lucky beach bums whilst local people and their animals are literally starving? 

i know there are many groups of people trying to make thailand a better place, elephant conservation areas, environmental groups, and so on and so on. but please, if you’re going to thailand, please do your due diligence before you book an attraction, before you book a hotel, before you buy something from someone. 

some interesting reading: 

Revealed: Asian slave labour producing prawns for supermarkets in US, UK

Tiger Temple, Thailand – the Truth Behind the Mask 

The Terrible Truths from Thailand’s Tiger 

The agonising blows that expose the evil secrets of Thailand’s elephant tourism con: The Duchess of Cornwall’s brother tells how baby elephants are brutally starved and tortured 

Why You Shouldn’t Ride Elephants in Thailand 

and now, some gems from Cindy’s facebook, for those of you not privleged enough to be her friend..