Without boring you with ancient history, you should know that the first time I went to an airport in 19yadayada, my mother required me to wear a jacket and tie and put on my Sunday church shoes. And I wasn't even flying. We were simply going to the then-futuristic TWA terminal at the then-Idlewild Airport to see a family member off on a European trip.
Most of the time I recount that story in speeches, I talk about the huge oval departure board that dominated Eero Saarinen's Jetsons-like terminal at Kennedy Airport. The gigantic totem with its clacking mechanical letters and numerals inflamed the imagination of a city kid whose family never ventured more than 250 miles from home.
Lately, though, I've been thinking about clothing. Imagine dressing up just to go to an airport. Like most of today's male business travelers, I don't even dress that prettily when I fly. Business casual rules the airport roost: slacks, slip-on shoes, an open-collar shirt, and a blue blazer. And when I think I can get away with it, I lose the jacket and loafers and substitute a muted Hawaiian shirt.
In these dress-down times, however, that laid-back regimen qualifies me as a fashion plate. Just in the last month, we've heard about Malinda Knowles, the woman suing JetBlue Airways because her short-shorts and baggy T-shirt raised questions about whether she was going commando. Too much visible underwear was DeShon Marman's problem. He was tossed off a flight because US Airways didn't like his low-riding slacks. Then there's the cross-dresser whose hooker outfit didn't get him barred from a flight. And since her 15 minutes of fame expired long gone, we've forgotten Kyla Ebberts, whose flying attire was so skimpy that she ended up with a Playboy pictorial.
How we got from suits and Sunday shoes to underwear wars is fodder for deep sociological musings that are far above this business traveler's emotional pay grade. What I can offer here, however, are several commonsense tips for what I can only call practical plane dressing. They won't get you 15 minutes of aeronautic-apparel fame, but I'm fairly sure that they'll quickly get you past the security screeners and guarantee that no one will toss you off your next flight.
What Not to Wear
You needn't be the host of a cable-TV show to know what not to wear when you fly. Hats, be they your Sunday finest or backward-facing baseball caps, will have to be doffed and screened separately. Metal jewelry, be it bling or Tiffany's best, will have to be run through the X-ray machines. Big metal belt buckles, be they fashion forward or cowboy classic, will raise the ire of screeners. I've gone so far as to go without a belt; I stash it in my carry-on and don't put it on until I get to my destination. I also wear a plastic watch now when I'm flying. And since the Transportation Security Administration continues to demand you lose your shoes, there's no logic to flying in footwear with laces. Find a simple pair or pumps or loafers to get you through the checkpoint.
Layers of Complexity
Flying is atmospherically bizarre, an endless and unpredictable series of too-hot, too-cold, and just-right temperature environments. The obvious solution: dressing in layers. The obvious problem: The TSA will require you to strip all external layers to pass through the checkpoint. So the best strategy is to keep the extra layers in your carry-on bag and break them out only after you've cleared security.
The Heels of a Dilemma
Airlines have an exquisitely nuanced system for separating the elite wheat from the general-travel chaff. Upgrades go to elites in descending order of the importance of their metal or precious-stone classification. But there are still times when an airline, oversold in coach, will upgrade travelers based on their "look." For men, it's simple: The sharpest suit wins. It's more complicated for women, however. Airline executives and gate and ticket agents tell me all the time that women in heels have a better shot at an upgrade than a woman in tennis shoes. (I have no information on whether heel height is part of the equation.) But in an emergency situation, heels get snagged on the evacuation slide. So keep your flats in your carry-on, then swap out your heels as soon as you board.
Fashion and Fabrics
Without getting too garish or graphic, the experts in these types of things are adamant about wearing natural fabrics. Man-made fabrics can literally melt onto your skin if exposed to the heat of an onboard fire. On the other hand, picking slacks with a few percent of Spandex are not only comfortable, they are less susceptible to wrinkling. And flying, as you already know, is a wrinkling experience.
Less Is More If You're Savvy
My predilection for Hawaiian shirts notwithstanding, I'm convinced that limiting your color palate on the road is the best way to dress and pack efficiently. You don't have to be as severe as me—except for ties, I don't travel with anything that isn't blue, gray, or black—but the fewer colors the better. Savvy dressing on the road almost always comes down to the right accessories, preferably those that can work with several outfits.
Back to the Future
The older I get, the less interested I am in the fashion statement of the moment. I still think what was cool in the late 1960s--two-button suits, hand-sewn loafers, simple dresses and pantsuits--is the height of sartorial elegance. I've also noticed that airlines and security screeners are behind the times. Whether it's ghetto chic or f—k-me pumps, you might want leave what's trendy in your suitcase. Keep it conservative when you fly. If you wouldn't wear it in the office, you probably shouldn't wear it on a plane.
The Fine Print…
The nation may have averted its default crisis, but the bipartisan wrangling that has caused a partial shutdown of the Federal Aviation Administration goes on. Besides a long list of halted infrastructure projects, the shutdown means that airlines can't collect certain travel taxes. And you may be eligible for a refund on some travel taxes that you've already paid on tickets for future flights. The IRS has issued guidance, and some carriers are beginning to formulate policies to process refunds.