The Worst Gig

    A new site dedicated to musicians telling the train wreck tales of their worst live performances. I would pay good money to see a bald Juliana Hatfield get into a fight with a homophobe. Many more accounts of concerts gone awry over at The Worst Gig.

    Gavon Laessig
    by Gavon Laessig

    BuzzFeed News Reporter

    • Rufus Wainwright

      "It might have been one of those Lisa Loeb shows. I think it was in Tuscon, Arizona, and I just stopped in the middle and said, 'Good night, fuckers!' and walked offstage. They wouldn't stop talking and were very much into screaming--grunting I should say--'Lisa, Lisa, Lisa.' I think it was because the boyfriends had gone to the show with their girlfriends, who had thus promised certain sexual favors if they would go to this show. They just weren't into it. And they weren't into an opening act--especially a little gay boy from Canada." -- Rufus Wainright

    • Jane's Addiction

      "One time in Chicago I was kicking (heroin) really hard. So as opposed to just giving up, I faked a heart attack. I faked a heart attack and then I faked that it was a fake. The truth of the matter is that I couldn't really stand up that well. It might have been dramatic, but it couldn't have sounded very good. Honestly, in the day, you could get away with a lot of the drama thing." -- Perry Farrell, Jane's Addiction

    • Cross Canadian Ragweed

      "It was Gordon, Nebraska. We got there and it was in an outside rodeo arena. The trailer we played on had a particle board sides and roof, and they had gotten it stuck in all the cow shit and horse shit earlier that day. They were trying to pull the stage out, so they swung shit all over, so it was green, dried crap. They asked us to have a bite to eat because they were cooking steaks. We were sitting in the horse stall area, and there were flies buzzing all over the food. People were actually sitting in piles of horse shit." -- Cody Canada, Cross Canadian Ragweed

    • Juliana Hatfield

      "Clemson, South Carolina. ... We had all cut our hair in a video, then we all shaved our heads just to even it out. We played down in Clemson, and the crowd was giving us so much hell. It was packed with frat guys and drunk people. They were so obnoxious and rude, yelling 'dykes' at us. It was just constant antagonism. But there's something invigorating about fighting against injustice. I think I dumped a beer on some guy's head." -- Juliana Hatfield

    • Kansas

      "One of the most memorable ones we played was up in Wisconsin called Nudestock. It was a nudist colony. Foreigner was on the bill and Alan Parsons. But you expect up in Wisconsin there'd be all these beautiful blonde women. But the reality is never what you imagine. You get there and it looks like you walked into a Piggly Wiggly grocery store and suddenly everybody was naked. And you're standing there playing and there's some guy with a baseball hat and tennis shoes standing in front of you, wiggling around and playing air guitar with his pecker swirling around. It bothers you." -- Rich Williams, Kansas

    • Drowning Pool

      "Salt Lake City, Utah. Prior to the last song, Dave (Williams) had the audience fired up. 'Give it up for heavy metal!' he screamed. The crowd roared back! 'Give it up for alcohol!' The crowd roared louder! Dave had them right where he wanted them. With his final anthem, he cried, 'Give it up for Satan!' Not a peep from the crowd. It was one of those classic moments when you hear crickets chirp. We played the last song and walked off the stage in silence." -- Stevie Benton, Drowning Pool

    • Garbage

      "Upstate New York at a ski lodge in front of 20,000 kids. It was absolutely freezing out. So we went on, and we couldn't keep the guitar strings in tune. I was wearing a parka and gloves. You can't really play drums. Shirley had a complete face mask. It could have been anybody singing. You wouldn't even know it was her until you heard her voice. It sounded so bad that after two or three songs the kids were getting impatient, because they wanted to rock out and we kept stopping and changing guitars. Finally, we just played a couple punk covers and after 15 minutes onstage we bailed. Then the kids started throwing snowballs. It was an absolute disaster." -- Butch Vig, Garbage

    • Blue Man Group

      "I had chugged a pint of Gatorade when I got a chance to go behind the instruments. I came out with my fiberglass boat antenna and swished it around. At the end of the show we jump up and down to the beat for about a minute. So I'm jumping and I feel the Gatorade. I turn around and motion to the band to acknowledge them, then my stomach twisted and all this Gatorade just flew out of my mouth. The band just sort of looked at me. They didn't know if I was holding it in my mouth and just playing a joke. I was like, that's pretty rock and roll. It was some ridiculous flavor like kiwi-watermelon something." -- Tom Galassi, Blue Man Group