Saturday, January 1, 2011

Today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten

I woke up yesterday morning, December 31, 2010, with the words "It was a labor of love" floating through my head.  Those words resonated with me throughout the day, attached to fabulous memories that flooded my thoughts.  It's always so overwhelming when I have days like that, but I seem to learn a little bit more each time, if I pay attention.  Yesterday I was paying attention. 

When I was 18, I had bought myself an old Ford Mustang.  It was a pile of junk, but I loved it.  It was the car I wanted, so I indulged myself and bought it, despite my parents protests.  I drove this car for about a year until one day the engine seized.  It needed a new engine.  So, I gathered some friends, bought a new engine, and we spent a week disassembling the old engine and dropping in the new one.  When we were finished and had it running, my friend said to me "It was a labor of love".  And it was.  I loved that car.  In retrospect it was nothing but a money pit, but if I had it to do over...I wouldn't change a thing.

As I was driving home from my horseback riding lesson yesterday I was haunted by those words, "It was a labor of love".  I began thinking of my older horse, Hallie, who is soon to be 28 years old.  She is another of my many labors of love.  When she was 23, she was playing in her field and somehow injured herself.  She came in the next morning with a deep laceration to her right hind leg, her tendons were partially severed, her muscle was peeled back exposing the bone.  It was bad.  Everyone said to put her down.  I couldn't.  It took over a year, but my little horse recovered.  I spent exponentially the dollar value of what she was "worth"...but I labored on.  I loved her.  When I bought my old girl I made a promise to her, and I had to keep my word.  I've been tested several more times since then, she's now arthritic and missing an eye (a blog for another day!), but she's healthy and happy.  Owning Hallie has filled this past decade with one labor of love after another, but I wouldn't have done anything differently.  I gave her my word.

Driving home yesterday, it occurred to me that never have other words resonated so strongly with me.  It was a labor of love.  I've spent my life laboring, struggling, fighting, accomplishing....and it has all been a labor of love.  A forty four and a half year long labor of love.  Everything I've done, regardless of the outcomes, have been labors of love.  I've guided my life, or maybe my life has been guided, out of my love, my passions.  Not all have been successful, not all have made sense to others, but to me, this is my life.  These are my labors that have made me who I am and have guided me to where I am now, and I wouldn't have done anything differently.  I pray I can continue this amazing labor of love for a very long time. 

My epitaph: "It was a labor of love".  It sure was!

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