BETA
This is a BETA experience. You may opt-out by clicking here

More From Forbes

Edit Story

How To Handle Aging Parents' Pets

This article is more than 10 years old.

One day he was jogging, and the next, my husband woke up with pneumonia. It was a scary six weeks of bed rest for him. My dog, Tigra, who had been coming to work with me for years, just looked at me the morning my husband got sick. She wouldn’t come with me. Instead, she stayed by his bedside night and day until he was better.

Dogs--how do they know these things?

When it comes to animals and our aging parents, we know the bond between animal and human that has probably existed from the beginning of humankind isn’t going away. Seniors depend on their pets for company and love in ways we may not always understand.

In Pictures: 10 Tips For Aging Parents And Pets

Yet sometimes the pet can be a safety hazard. Big dog, frail aging parent, boom! That was Milton. When he was walking his beloved Toby, a 75-pound Doberman, Toby saw a cat and gave chase. He took Milton down and fractured his hip. Milton had hip surgery and had to use a walker after that, but he never blamed Toby. He couldn’t wait to get out of rehab to get back to see the old boy.

Smaller pets can be a tripping hazard, particularly when the pet himself is old and doesn’t hear a human approaching in time to get out of the way.

Can we do anything about the risks to our less than sturdy aging parents when their oversized or troublesome pets become a problem? Maybe not much. We can suggest, tactfully, that a home care worker go along on the dog walks “just for my peace of mind, Dad.”

If the dog is unruly, we can offer to take the dog to training classes. With food as a reinforcer, even an old dog can, indeed, learn new tricks. Expert trainers at animal shelters and through pet store-based programs can amaze you. One-on-one private pet trainers can also be very effective.

We can offer to walk the dog ourselves, hire someone to walk the dog, take it to the vet and get a harness or special collar to help control the pet. We can hire someone to remember to feed the beloved brute. But we know we can’t separate a senior from that source of unconditional love.


Research has shown that even petting a pet can lower blood pressure, calm nerves and alleviate depression. My psychologist husband, Dr. Mikol Davis, explains at our joint website, AgingParents.com, that pets also aid seniors in their socialization with others. A pet can be a conversation-starter and an isolation antidote.

When pets are a safety problem (because the elder can’t safely handle the pet, has memory loss, or the pet is aging itself and can’t see or hear to get out of the way) it becomes a family issue. Whatever the risks, we advise that the bond between aging parent and pet is worth the risk. We believe that modifying the risks of the pet in every way you can is a far better choice than suggesting getting rid of the pet.

If your parent has a pet and is no longer able to live alone at home, the issue of the pet must be addressed. If you ask a parent, assuming he or she is still able to communicate, you’re not going to find one who wants to get rid of a pet he or she loves when moving to any other home.

When there is consideration of some other arrangement, such as assisted living, look for a facility that accepts pets. There may be a pet weight limit, and some facilities do not allow pets at all.

Smaller “board and care” homes or other kinds of living arrangements that provide help with meals, bathing and other necessities may also be an option. Some of these too will allow pets.

I confess to being a dog lover. That sixth sense pets have with our moods and emotions is indefinable but there. I hope we can honor the happiness it creates for aging parents to have and love their pets.

My Tigra is a cute shepherd-terrier mix. She sits beside my desk every day, content to just hang around. When clients come into the office, she gets up and sits by their feet. When it’s time to go home, she gets up, stretches and stands by the door expectantly. Apparently she knows the hour, even if I’m distracted.

I’m a lucky person that I can bring my dog to work. I hope anyone with an aging parent can help their parents feel lucky, too, that their creature friend, be it furry, chirpy or crawly, is by their parent’s side. Let’s do what we must to keep the animal-elder bond where it is. Unconditional love will never come from the pharmacy.

Carolyn L. Rosenblatt, RN, BSN, PHN, attorney, is author of The Boomer's Guide To Aging Parents, available at agingparents.com.

In Pictures: 10 Tips For Aging Parents And Pets