In loving memory of Joey Van Susteren

There is not much to say. My older brother is gone when he should be here, with us, laughing or smiling. I cannot delve too deeply into describing this absence for I will likely not be able to finish this story. Instead, as I write, I will keep in mind an image of Joey flying free of his burdens, finally at peace. As you read, I plead you do the same.


Joey's path through this world was difficult, yet his resilience has inspired many. He was born at a disadvantage, diagnosed with cerebral palsy; he fought through trials of bullying, cancer and the death of our father. To me, this amount of suffering experienced by a single person seems unreal, but these struggles are not what defined Joey. He is defined by his laughter and spirit that helped him fight each of these trials to their end.


He beat cancer and came back from the brink of death. We celebrated the remission throughout the holidays; I saw him come back to life amidst the food and lights and spirit. We had fits of laughing and cancer-free elation during that year’s Thanksgiving dinner. It was time for him to live life once again. This is a memory that keeps me fighting.


He and I spent years talking through any troubles we would come across. Our conversations often saw one of us frantic and scared until the other would act as a rock to ground our fear.  We would balance out each other's panic through our mutual understanding of each other's past and childhood. Joey's advice was priceless to me because he watched me grow up. And as I faced a world that he had already seen, he kept me accepting and compassionate towards others.


This brings us to today. In recent months, Joey had been battling several physical and mental ailments that chipped away his optimism for a bright future. He leaned on his family and community in these difficult times. Joey spent his time tutoring elementary and middle-schoolers, going to church and working his job as a cashier at the local burger joint. His job gave him a lot of joy from interacting and cracking jokes with customers. The quarantine implemented to slow the spread of COVID-19 took away his access to this support system, and regretfully, the resulting isolation seemed to catalyze Joey’s hopelessness into suicide.  


As I write this, I am keeping in mind an image of Joey flying free of his burdens, finally at peace.  I am remembering Joey for his spirit and his laughter and his compassionate heart. He just wanted to make people happy. I hope that all of you who knew him are inspired by this compassion. I only wish that I had been able to keep him here with us a little longer. I want to thank you all for showing Joey friendship and acceptance over the years.


In memory of Joey, we are asking for donations to this GoFundMe which will benefit the Jed Foundation. The Jed Foundation is a national nonprofit that exists to protect emotional health and prevent suicide for our nation's teens and young adults. They partner with high schools and colleges to strengthen their mental health, substance abuse and suicide prevention programs and systems. They’re equipping teens and young adults with the skills and knowledge to help themselves and each other. They’re encouraging community awareness, understanding and action for young adult mental health. 


Thank you for reading/sharing this page, and for any donations you make. Your generosity is greatly appreciated, and will hopefully help break the cycle.