Pretty wrappings, loving thoughts -- but possibly a new source of clutter.When we're decluttering, some of the hardest things to move out of our homes are those we never chose in the first place: gifts. A particular gift may be the most useless object we own; it may offend our personal taste; it may be the wrong size, the wrong color, the wrong everything; and yet, because a loved one gave it to us, we feel guilty about wanting to get rid of it. Disliking the gift makes us feel unloving and unappreciative.
And yet, as moms everywhere have always said, "It's the thought that counts." By that token, it should be possible to treasure the thought behind a gift without being saddled with the object for the rest of our lives.
Taking a photo or writing down a record of the gift are ways to preserve the thought and lose the clutter.
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After all, a gift that we guiltily dislike stirs negative emotions in us whenever we glance at it. And who needs objects around the house that make us feel bad? Especially when the gift giver wanted only to give us pleasure.
Christy Diane Farr writes at Care2.com in
about her experience with her mom's wedding ring, long yearned for and finally given to her. "I loved wearing that ring -- for a while," she says.
Then Farr's tastes changed. The ring took up permanent residence in the back of her closet. And even a once-beloved item becomes clutter when it is never used.
Eventually, she finds a solution for her ring problem -- giving it back to her mom -- and she shares what she came to realize:
So, here's the thing about gifts. We give them because it feels like a good idea. It's an act of love, or affection, or at least appreciation for social rituals. We can't possibly know if it actually is the perfect gift, that the recipient will love it and use it. We can't know if they want this exact thing, in this color, shape, and size, and there is no way in the world we can assume that it will be perfect for them forever.
We give gifts -- we don't harness people with them.
This is the same for the gifts you receive. If it no longer serves you, it's okay to let it go.
always
to the gifts she gives: "Hope you find my gift useful," it says. "If not, please regift." And Ong always regifts when she receives something she doesn't like or need.
"As they say, keep the love and toss away the symbol," she says.
How do you feel about regifting?
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How Portlanders rate:
If you believe
(and really, why should you?), Portlanders are slackers when it comes to being organized. And we're talking sock drawers, not unions. But hey, Portland beat five other cities with its 20th-place finish among the 25 largest metro areas in the nation and its 69.8 score. First-place Boston had a nearly perfect score of 97.7. Lowest was Houston, with its 57.3 score.
New city slogan: We're better than Houston, anyway.
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