The 100 British celebrities who really matter by Piers Morgan (55 to 31)


There are thousands of 'celebrities' in Britain. By which I mean there are a lot of famous people. Many of whom have absolutely no right to be. 

Whole shoals of Z-list wannabes, scrabbling for their 15 minutes of recognition on increasingly degrading reality-TV shows, desperate for fame of any kind.

So it's time to sort the chaff from the wheat, and resolve once and for all who really counts in the world of celebrity in this country.


55 SHARON AND OZZY OSBOURNE

You can't separate these two, because they're joined at the surgically enhanced hips. I've got to know them both incredibly well, and they're a ridiculously happy couple, and equally ridiculously entertaining company.

My favourite night with them came in Miami last summer, when we went for dinner at a very smart restaurant with their daughter Kelly and her boyfriend. As Ozzy, Sharon and I shared what we thought were fabulously exciting stories from the wild old days, I could sense Kelly and her man's eyes beginning to close.

Osbournes
Gordon Ramsay wearing angel wings in prayer

No angels: Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne (left) and Gordon Ramsay

'This is so boring,' she eventually announced. 'We're leaving.' Ozzy looked like a bolt of lightning had just struck his lower abdominal region. 'Boring? BORING?! I've never been called ****ing boring in my life! How dare you!' Sharon was equally enraged. 'BORING?' I can't believe you just called us that, Kelly!' But the young scamp was already fleeing for the door.

Seconds later, there was a knock on the window from outside. It was Kelly, and she was baring her naked bottom at us, as she and lover-boy shrieked with laughter. I looked at Ozzy, he looked at Sharon, and then all three of us collapsed in fits of giggles. The wild child mantle had been formally passed down a generation.

The Osbournes matter because Ozzy's still one of the great rock legends of our times, and still performing hugely successful shows all over the world. And Sharon's a TV superstar on America's Got Talent, but more importantly, a small but dangerous creature who's liable to explode at any time, which makes her delightfully unpredictable and always entertaining.


Ozzy: Age 61 Born Aston, Birmingham

Education Birchfield Road Secondary Modern Homes London; Buckinghamshire; LA

Sharon: Age 57 Born London

Education Italia Conti Academy Homes See Ozzy

54 GORDON RAMSAY

Rough, tough, gnarled and loud, Ramsay is the modern day Neanderthal man - terrorising his way across the globe, screaming at people, destroying things, eating vast slabs of meat (albeit very well-cooked meat) and generally causing chaos wherever he goes. But never mistake his TV persona for what he's really like.

Underneath that mad exterior lies a clever, sensitive and generous guy. And an absolutely brilliant chef, one of the best Britain's ever had. I count Gordon among my good mates now, and have enjoyed some cracking dinners with him.

Funnyman: TV presenter Graham Norton

Funnyman: TV presenter Graham Norton

He's outrageously funny, bursting with energy, physically massive and has that slight edge of danger that most top chefs have after years in the cauldron of great kitchens. He's rather lower on the list than he might have been last year, because his global business empire has taken a big hit recently, and his UK TV ratings are down.

But he's still huge in America, where Hell's Kitchen and Kitchen Nightmares dominate the ratings, and I'd never bet against him bouncing right back to the top again. He's irrepressible.

Age 43 Born Johnstone, Scotland

Education Stratford-upon-Avon High School; North Oxen Technical College Home London

53 GRAHAM NORTON

Infuriatingly camp, and with a sometimes nasty little side to him (I remember him burying some poor young 12-year-old Britain's Got Talent kid called Andrew Johnston for revealing he'd been mercilessly bullied - hardly a proper target for a comedian), but Norton is nevertheless a very talented chat-show host.

Not in my kind of journalistic way, but in a light, breezy, slightly naughty and undeniably funny way. He brings great energy to the screen, and people like him.

Which is why the BBC decided to chuck their millions - 2 million a year to be precise - at more Norton and less Ross in January. Norton is the No 1 gay TV star in the country, which isn't really relevant to this list's criteria, but makes him more interesting.

Age 46 Born County Cork, Ireland

Education University College, Cork; Central School of Speech and Drama Homes London; New York;


52 HUGH GRANT

The world's most boring man (which when you consider that Stephen Fry's still alive is quite an accolade), Grant never stops moaning about his pampered, prima-donna, movie-star life, and is always threatening to quit. We have 'a bit of previous', as they say in the criminal world.

I published the unedifying account of his 20-minute encounter with hooker Divine Brown on Sunset Boulevard, and he wanted to kill me. Literally. When he was once asked during an interview for his Mafia comedy Mickey Blue Eyes who he'd like 'whacked' if he had the chance, he replied, 'That **** Piers Morgan.'

Hugh Grant
Formula One racing driver Lewis Hamilton

Star power: Actor Hugh Grant (left) and Formula One racing driver Lewis Hamilton

The feeling's mutual, Hugh, old son, if only to put you and us out of your perpetual self-absorbed misery. What's such a shame is that he's actually a rather good romantic-comedy star, and can still command fees of over £10 million, which is why he's made my list. But his latest effort - appropriately called Did You Hear About The Morgans? was a critical and commercial flop, signifying that perhaps Grant's wish, and mine, for him to disappear from our screens will come true fairly soon.

Age 49 Born Hammersmith, London Education Latymer Upper School (private); Oxford University Home London

51 RICKY GERVAIS

The thing I like about Gervais is that he never conforms to anyone's idea of how he should behave. Asked to host the Golden Globes this year, he would doubtless have been given all sorts of instructions about what not to say, and he simply decided to ignore them all and rip all of Hollywood's A-list to pieces.

He branded Mel Gibson a drunk, ridiculed Paul McCartney for how much he'd had to pay out for his divorce and accused the whole room of having plastic surgery. Many found it beyond the pale; I found it utterly hilarious.

Gervais has made millions from The Office, Extras and now his movies, all of which I've loved. But it's his courage in staying true to himself, and his insistence on never doing too many shows of one type, that I admire in him most.

That and the fact that he's always genuinely nice and friendly whenever I bump into him, with no real reason to be. He's a good guy, having a laugh, and flying the flag for British eccentricity and laughing at ourselves.

Age 48 Born Reading Education Ashmead School; University of London Homes London; New York

50 LEWIS HAMILTON

Be very careful shaking this guy's hand. I did it during a private dinner party thrown by P Diddy, and he damn near broke my wrist with his vast, granite-like paw. I was impressed by Hamilton that night.

He was cool, looked me straight in the eye when he talked, loves Arsenal (always a good sign in celebrities) and offered me grid tickets for the British Grand Prix. What more could he possibly do to sneak up my list?

Godfather of British acting: Sir Anthony Hopkins

Godfather of British acting: Sir Anthony Hopkins

But on a serious note, Hamilton is a fantastically talented racing driver, and a man who, if he gets the right car for the new season, will have a very good chance of regaining his world championship crown.

On the downside, he's got to stop pretending that he lives in Switzerland to escape the supposed intrusion of fans. You don't, Lewis - you live there to avoid paying punitive tax here.

Age 25 Born Stevenage, Hertfordshire

Education John Henry Newman RC School Home Switzerland

49 SIR ANTHONY HOPKINS

The godfather of British acting, Hopkins is in many people's eyes the best of his generation. A brilliantly intense, superlatively talented character actor, he has starred in so many great films that it's impossible to list them all here. But his finest hour was surely when he played evil doctor Hannibal Lecter in The Silence Of The Lambs, in a performance so chilling that it terrified a whole generation. Welshborn, Hopkins now lives in America, and hasn't made a really big movie for a while, hence his slightly lowly position on this list. But his stature among his peer group remains incredibly high.

Age 72 Born Margam, Wales

Education Cowbridge Grammar School; Woolwich Clerical School; Rada Home Malibu

48 SIR CLIFF RICHARD

He may be 70 this year, but the Peter Pan of Pop looks younger than me, beat me at tennis recently and is still as enduringly popular with the blue-rinse brigade as he ever was. Cliff has topped the charts in each of the last five decades, and is a fantastic role model to all those who decry all the coke-snorting, violent, cheating, grasping love rats who have sprung up on the music scene since he started out. I spent a couple of days with him for an ITV special last summer, and found him to be a terrific guy - funny, open, friendly, polite, kind and thoughtful. I'm still not entirely sure who or what he goes to bed with at night, but frankly, who cares? He's one of the good guys in showbiz, and we should celebrate him for that. Not as hot as he was, but still hugely popular.

Age 69 Born Lucknow, India

Education Cheshunt County Secondary School Homes Surrey; Barbados; Portugal; New York

47 CLIVE OWEN

I'm not sure how it happened, and I'm not sure he knows how it happened, but Owen has suddenly gone from journeyman 15-year acting star in Britain to fully fledged global movie superstar in the last three or four years. Whatever the reason, I salute him for seizing his chance and running with it in magnificent fashion. He's cool, smart, can act superbly well and has a menace to his work that has led to some big thriller roles. I predict more glory for Mr Owen in 2010, though I doubt even winning an Oscar one day will come close to the joy he'll feel at coming 47th on my list.

Age 45 Born Coventry

Education Binley Park Comprehensive; Rada Home London

Truly gifted: Sir Cliff Richard (left) and Clive Owen
Truly gifted: Sir Cliff Richard (left) and Clive Owen

Truly gifted: Sir Cliff Richard (left) and Clive Owen

46 LEONA LEWIS

The most genuinely talented talent-show contestant Britain has ever produced. Leona was a humble secretary four years ago; now she's a No 1-selling superstar in America. I sat next to her at a dinner party last summer, and she was a delightfully shy, modest young girl who could barely summon up the courage to ask for the salt. The next time I saw her was at the America's Got Talent final in Hollywood in September, where she sang with such power and confidence that I could scarcely believe it was the same person. Leona has a fantastic voice, and from what Simon Cowell tells me, a work ethic and humility to match. He reckons that she has a 20-year career ahead of her as one of the world's top female recording artists. And I wouldn't disagree with him.

Age 24 Born London

Education Sylvia Young Theatre School, Italia Conti Academy; BRIT School Homes London; LA

Delightfully shy and humble: X Factor winner Leona Lewis

Delightfully shy and humble: X Factor winner Leona Lewis

45 ROBBIE WILLIAMS

He reckons that she has a 20-year career ahead of her as one of the world's top female recording artists. And I wouldn't disagree with him. tank as fast as his old mates Take That rose from the dead. And his much-hyped comeback late last year was only partially successful. I've had my ups and downs with Master Williams. As Take That's biographer, I knew him incredibly well in the early days and always got on great with him. He was cheeky, hilarious, talented and the band's most natural performer.

Comeback king: Pop star Robbie Wlliams

Comeback king: Pop star Robbie Wlliams

But I didn't like the contemptuous way he treated the others when he broke away from them, and I said so publicly. Which led to a certain froideur whenever we bumped into each other. But when we met at Ant and Dec's Christmas-special show in December, we shook hands and exchanged the kind of nods that old mates do when they've fallen out but never really wanted to.

At least, that's what I was thinking. Robbie seems to have calmed down and learned some humility, which is a good thing for him as a human being, but may not be quite so good for his performing career. Either way, he's made huge sums of money, been ridiculously famous and slept with all the girls any man could ever wish to sleep with. So he's 'done it'. Anything now will be a bonus, and it wouldn't surprise me if he ends up back in the top ten of this list next year, or out of the top 100 altogether.

Age 36 Born Stoke-on-Trent

Education St Margaret Ward RC School Homes London; LA; Calne, Wiltshire

44 MICK JAGGER AND KEITH RICHARDS

The Rolling Stones might be more akin these days to the Strolling Old Bones, as my young sons call them. But they still matter, because they're just so cool. I remember watching them all emerge from a hotel in Philadelphia at the start of their Steel Wheels tour back in the mid-Nineties, and it was electrifying.

Richards swaggering out, unsmiling, in a vest, bandana, fag in his mouth, trilby hat and guitar. Jagger, in a purple suit, all teeth, lithe limbs and showbiz. But on stage, they were electrifying together. And they still are today, on and off stage. I've been at parties full of stars, but when Jagger walks in, the room goes silent and all the women start trembling. He is still the greatest rock star of them all, and I salute him.

Mick: Age 66 Born Dartford, Kent

Education Dartford Grammar School; LSE  Homes London; France; West Indies

Keith: Age 66 Born Dartford, Kent

Education Dartford Technical School;. Sidcup Art College  Homes Sussex; Connecticut; Turks & Caicos Islands; France; Mustique


43 KATHERINE JENKINS

Voice of an angel: Opera star Katherine Jenkins

Voice of an angel: Opera star Katherine Jenkins

Blonde, beautiful, a forces' sweetheart and with a voice like an angel, Katherine was heading seamlessly for 'new Vera Lynn' territory until she rang me up one day to confess she'd once taken loads of drugs. The nation gasped in faux horror, then got over it just as quickly. Her honesty was impressive, as is her determination to make it right to the top.

We hung out together a bit in LA last summer when she was recording an album, and this is clearly a lady ravenous for success on a global scale and prepared to do what it takes to achieve it. But she's also a wonderfully sweet, natural, conscientious and incredibly talented young woman who's on the verge of hitting the big time in America. And who does terrific, unsung and risky work for our troops in places like Afghanistan.

Age 29 Born Neath, Wales

Education Dwr-yr-felin School; Royal Academy of Music Home London

42 HUGH LAURIE

I saw my first episode of House on a recent holiday in Thailand. As it was the only DVD box set the hotel had, I finally succumbed to a show I assumed I'd hate - what's to like about a bumbling old mate of Stephen Fry's doing a fake American accent?How wrong was I? He's brilliant as House, the sharpest, darkest, most compelling dramatic character I've seen in years.

And America agrees: the sensational ratings have made him the No 1 highest-paid scripted-drama star in the States, raking in £250,000 an episode. And even better, he recently admitted he hates Twitter. It's one of life's tragedies that after my feud with his best friend, I'll now never get to know Laurie better.

I'd love nothing more than to hang out with him in LA, as long as he spoke in that accent and didn't bring his pal Stephen. We met a couple of years ago backstage at a US chat show, and he couldn't have been more charming or perplexed about how well he's done.

Laurie's the most successful TV drama export this country's ever produced, and is still at the top of his game. It doesn't, in small-screen-acting terms, get bigger than that.

Age 50 Born Oxford Education Eton College (private); Cambridge University Homes London; LA

41 JAMES CORDEN

Some people are on Earth to put a smile on our faces, and Mr Corden is most definitely one of them. He's a huge star in all senses, pulling in big ratings for Gavin And Stacey, and using his, ahem, 'fuller figure' to his advantage in a way even Jack Nicholson would envy.

I bump into him, literally, at parties and he's always hilarious company. Not for James the usual celebrity path of diets, alcoholic abstinence and hours in the gym. His idea of a workout is carrying three boxes of Sloppy Giuseppe home from Pizza Express, with a sixpack of Stella nestling on top.

And the best thing about his unusual body-enhancement strategy is the girls seem to love him all the more for it. If I had a dinner party of ten people from this list, I'd definitely include Corden, because he'd make us all laugh, and finish all the scraps.

As for celebrity status, he matters because he's a delightful antidote to all the stick-insect, prune-munching, carrot-juice-slurping bores in showbiz today. And because he's a fantastic actor. I saw him in The History Boys at the National Theatre a few years ago, and he was outstandingly good.

Age 31 Born High Wycombe

Education The Misbourne Secondary School Home London

Racing up the list: Gavin and Stacey's James Corden (left) and Michael McIntyre
Racing up the list: Gavin and Stacey's James Corden (left) and Michael McIntyre

Racing up the list: Gavin and Stacey's James Corden (left) and Michael McIntyre

40 MICHAEL MCINTYRE

Who is the funniest man in Britain? Well, if you're judging on the basis of DVD and theatre-ticket sales, then step forward Mr McIntyre, who has exploded onto the TV-comedy scene this year like a smoothtalking, slightly twittish hurricane - the Boris Johnson of stand-up.

I introduced him 18 months ago at an awards show I was presenting in London, before anyone had really heard of him, and he just seemed an incredibly nice guy. His act wasn't remotely crude, but resonated perfectly with the audience.

He didn't swear, abuse anyone or make filthy phone calls to elderly TV legends about their granddaughters. Instead, he was rather quaintly old-fashioned with his material, unthreatening yet very entertaining.

And that crowd lapped it up. I thought then he'd be a big star, but never predicted quite how fast he would shoot to the top. But McIntyre is proof that nice guys do come first sometimes. And it's a splendid two fingers to the rude, crude brigade, proving comedy doesn't have to involve someone, somewhere being insulted.

Age 34 Born Merton, London

Education Merchant Taylor's School (private); Edinburgh University Home London

39 FRANK LAMPARD

A cut above most footballers: Frank Lampard

A cut above most footballers: Frank Lampard

I never thought the day would ever come when I would say complimentary things about a Chelsea player, especially not since Ashley 'Judas' Cole defected there from my beloved Arsenal. But after sitting next to him at the Pride of Britain awards last autumn, I realised that Lampard's a cut above most footballers.

He was great company, took a joke about himself with surprising ease and was kind and considerate to all the kids who came up for autographs and photos. Later that night, as we sank beers with our mutual mate Kevin Pietersen at the bar, Frank's eyes alighted on the shapely form of Christine Bleakley from The One Show.

'She's lovely,' he sighed. 'She's my friend,' I replied. 'Can you introduce me?' he asked. So I did, and they've been dating ever since. Lampard's obviously a terrific footballer, the kind of driving midfield general every club would love.

And he'll play a crucial role in England's World Cup chances. But it was the way he reacted to a London radio host taunting him about being a bad dad that impressed me the most. Rather than do what most footballers would do, and run to his manager, agent or lawyer, he just picked the phone up, dialled the number for the show and berated the offending DJ there and then for his remarks.

I was listening live as he did it, and it was one of the most astonishing things I've ever heard on the radio. It also showed me that Lampard is a man of depth.

Age 31 Born Romford, Essex

Education Brentwood School (private) Homes London; Surrey

38 KATE WINSLET

I used to be quite matey with Ms Winslet. In the days when she was married to a nice, anonymous guy, she was great fun, and did the media thing with commendable honesty and generosity, posing for free photos on her wedding day and doing what she could to 'play the game'.

I remember her calling me one day to apologise for not being able to make the Pride of Britain awards, and laughing, cursing and shouting her way through a hilarious 15-minute conversation that showed me what a naturally lovely young woman she was. Then she had a few big hits, dumped the hubbie, married a movie producer and disappeared up her luvvie backside. And we've never seen the old Kate again.

The absolute nadir for me came when she wept on Parkinson as she told how her husband wept at how brilliant her new movie was.

I mean, pur-lease. She's a great actress, one of the best in the world right now, but I've moved her down the list because I think she's sacrificed her core values for fame and fortune, and that's a bitter disappointment.

Age 34 Born Reading

Education Redroofs Theatre School (private) Homes Cornwall; New York

A fine actress: Oscar winner Kate Winslet

A fine actress: Oscar winner Kate Winslet

37 SUSAN BOYLE

Does she matter, I hear you cry? Yes, is my firm answer. And this is why: Susan's become an inspiration to tens of millions of people around the world. Her stunning success last year, going from anonymity to global superstardom in just a few months, sent a message to the planet's dreamers that sometimes, just sometimes, dreams do come true.

And the fact that a 48-year-old frumpily dressed Glaswegian lady who had never been kissed can outsell Lady Gaga and Madonna is proof of my mother's favourite saying: 'Ambition knows no bounds.' Susan matters more than many on this list because her rise to fame was so unexpected, and so against the odds. And thus, it feels more 'real'. She's an ordinary woman on an extraordinary ride, and represents every underdog who ever dreamed a dream.

Age 48 Born Blackburn, Scotland Education St Kentigern's Academy RC Home Blackburn 

36 AMY WINEHOUSE

Last year, she'd have been in my top ten, such is her breathtaking musical genius. But Amy's on the slide now, battling the classic old rock 'n' roll demon cliches of booze and drugs. It's a genuine tragedy, because Amy's without any doubt the most talented new singer-songwriter Britain has seen emerge in decades. I genuinely hope she sorts herself out in 2010, because the music world is her proverbial oyster if she does.

Age 26 Born Southgate, London Education Susi Earnshaw School (private) Home London

Sing out sisters: Susan Boyle (left) and Amy Winehouse
Sing out sisters: Susan Boyle (left) and Amy Winehouse

Sing out sisters: Susan Boyle (left) and Amy Winehouse

35 HARRY HILL

One of the keys to TV success in Britain is avoiding overexposure. Simon Cowell's a master at it  -  insisting that Britain's Got Talent and The X Factor only air once, and refusing to do anything else, so we don't all get sick of the sight of him. And Harry Hill's another shrewd exponent of the 'less is more' art.

His utterly brilliant TV Burp show is one of the most-watched on television, but Hill has resisted the temptation to overexpose himself. He's also something of an enigma, not doing many interviews and thus lending a beguiling mystique to the real Harry Hill, who I suspect, like most professional funnymen, is nowhere near as entertaining as the TV one.

I had the honour of presenting him with a Bafta a couple of years ago, and he was genuinely gobsmacked and thrilled. It was quite touching to watch. And I saw then that he's a decent bloke, who is aware of his good fortune, proud of his talent and deserves his success.

Age 45 Born Woking Education Cranbrook School; St George's Hospital/ University of London Home Whitstable, Kent

34 CHRIS EVANS

Bonafide media tycoon: Chris Evans

Bonafide media tycoon: Chris Evans

I've known Chris a long time. We used to get drunk together when he was at Virgin Radio, but then he used to get drunk with everyone then. He was mad as a box of frogs, but a brilliantly natural broadcaster, with a scent of maverick danger that belied a very astute commercial brain. After buying and selling Virgin Radio, pocketing tens of millions by doing so, Evans established himself as a bona fide media tycoon.

But true to form, he blew most of it on fast cars, hot women, drunken binges and silly lawsuits. He's still rich (the Ferraris in the garage tell their own story), but not super-rich. And he's calmed down enough to get himself a wife and child, and take over Wogan's coveted slot on Radio 2.

I saw him at a Christmas party and we shared a hug and a mutually incredulous appreciation of where we've both washed up since those days in the pub guzzling Stella without a care in the world. Now he's settled into his new Breakfast Show, his rehabilitation from wild man to national treasure is complete.

Age 43 Born Warrington, Lancs

Education Padgate High School Home Surrey 

33 STEPHEN FRY

It really pains me to include this grandstanding, self-satisfied old Twitter bore so high up my list. His haughty, worthy, self-righteous, morally superior and utterly inane daily witterings are as cretinous as they are unreadable. But you simply cannot deny the significance of someone who has 1.2 million people addicted to their every movement, even if he is on a temporary hiatus while he writes a book. If this is the social networking age, then, depressingly, Fry is the current British king. But it's not, thankfully, a kingdom I ever intend to reside in.

Age 52 Born London Education City College, Norwich; Cambridge University Homes London; Norfolk

32 BORIS JOHNSON

As soon as Boris became Mayor, I began counting down to when he'd self-destruct, caught in flagrante on the Millennium Wheel. But I have to admit he's been surprisingly calm and decisive, yet still kept his populist magic. Like Paris Hilton, beneath a dizzy blonde bluster lurks a smart mind and an astute understanding of managing a celebrity brand. Nothing Boris does is spontaneous; it's all part of his grand plan to become PM. And the worrying thing is, he just might pull it off. 

Age 45 Born New York Education Eton College (private), Oxford University Home London

31 JONATHAN ROSS

A tricky one to assess: I've known Jonathan 20 years, and apart from a short blip last year, I've always liked the guy. A brilliant talent, he was badly hit by Sachsgate, a crude, offensive stunt I still find it hard to believe he allowed to be broadcast. After that, his great sense of anarchic danger was neutered by BBC bosses, which was hardly surprising, but made him less watchable. Eventually he chucked in the towel, walking away from his £18 million contract without even trying to renew it.

And just as well, as, judging by the lack of BBC tears, they were in no hurry to make him a substantial oer after all the flak over his salary.

Two years ago he'd have been in my top ten, but now his power in TV and public popularity are both on the wane. Neither trend is irreversible, and I truly hope he rediscovers his old self soon. I preferred the old Jonathan, notwithstanding the awful Andrew Sachs incident. I'm sure I'm not alone.

Age 49 Born Leytonstone Education Leyton County High School for Boys; London University Homes London; Dorset; Florida


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