Who Needs a College Reunion? I’ve Got Facebook

Update | 12:57 p.m. Added a response from the University of Virginia and clarified the title for Ana Martínez-Alemán.

A few weeks ago I received an invitation to my five-year college reunion. My reply was swift, unhesitating and final: No, thank you.

I have no desire to join the rest of my fellow University of Virginia graduates in sipping mint juleps on the sun-dappled Lawn and taking tours of the Rotunda. Why would I?

I already know which of my former classmates spent their postgraduate years planting gardens in the Dominican Republic for the Peace Corps, and which took off for the West Coast. I’ve seen photographs documenting medical missions to South Africa, vacations to Ecuador and endless albums of wedding receptions and gurgling babies.

Blame Facebook. The social networking tool first became available to my class shortly after we graduated from college. Within months, nearly everyone I knew had joined the service. As we approach the five-year anniversary of Mark Zuckerberg’s invention, the tool has reached critical mass, bordering on ubiquity. As my colleague Brad Stone reported Sunday, it seems everybody and their mothers — literally — are on Facebook .

As my friend Alexis, a 2004 Harvard graduate who also decided to skip his coming five-year reunion, put it: “The infotech out there has reduced the desire to go ‘just to know’ what so-and-so is up to. I know what just about everyone is doing.”

Facebook has become a boon for reconnecting with childhood friends, vetting future employees and connecting with potential love interests, not to mention checking on former rivals, spouses, siblings and fizzled flames.

But it’s also deflated some of the mystery of returning to collegiate stomping grounds and seeking out exes and old professors, said Ana Martínez-Alemán, a professor at Boston College and author of “Online Social Networking on Campus: Understanding What Matters in Student Culture.”

What’s more, Facebook could potentially hinder a university’s ability to collect donations from alumni, typically a crucial source of revenue for schools. “I’m sure alumni offices are happy with Facebook because they can generate more revenue through it, but they are also keeping an eye on it because it may undermine some of their efforts,” said Dr. Martínez-Alemán.

She cautioned against jumping to the conclusion that Facebook could detrimentally affect reunion attendance figures, however. “It’s an empirical question that we can’t yet answer,” she said, “though I’m sure we’re going to.”

In some ways, Dr. Martínez-Alemán said, Facebook could be reinforcing collegiate culture and strengthening bonds that otherwise could have dissipated over the years. “Now you’re far more invested in those college relationships,” she said. “It stands to reason it will reinforce those friendship bonds that make for a better alumnus.”

On Monday, the University of Virginia posted a short entry addressing the topic, saying social media would make college reunions and alumni events even more relevant.

“By helping you stay current with both your small circle of close friends and your broader second and third-level acquaintances, Facebook is giving people the opportunity to stay involved with their University when previously due to distance, or time, they might not have,” the post read. “And when people feel that connection to their alma mater, whether it’s through returning to campus, going to sporting events, reading about the University (hint), or keeping in touch via old-school means or new-fangled technology, they are more likely to want to attend a college reunion.”

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Everybody skipped their 5 year reunion even before Facebook because they already new what all their friends were doing that soon after graduation. It’s the 30-year reunion that becomes more important. That’s where you will learn that you need to sign up for Brainwave — the new non-photonic hyper-distance thought transfer technology.

What about doing tings with people and seeing them face to face. Internet communication with people should not be a substitute for real face to face interaction.

You write: “I have no desire to join the rest of my fellow University of Virginia graduates in sipping mint juleps on the sun-dappled Lawn and taking tours of the Rotunda. Why would I?”

Why would you? Because parties with your friends in one of the most beautiful spots on Earth are fun!

I see your overall point about facebook. But historic schools like U.Va. still have something that facebook can never provide — a physical setting for a nice party. For most people, that’s what reunions are about.

i think people go to college reunions because they want to connect in person.

i take these facebook relationships with a grain of salt. the reason is that i have had real-time reunions with facebook friends and find them to be quite a mixed bag. the real world is a place where people can’t always put their best face forward and you really get a sense of the whole person.. it is worth going to a college reunion or having coffee with your long lost friend just to get a sense who you are sharing your ‘virtual’ world with.

Actually, I’m using facebook right now to set up reunions with friends! Nothing beats face-to-face! :)

The underlying social shift is that the cloistered college community of the past has evolved into a global community. Eighteen-year-olds who land on campus are now already networked. Is the college we know, basically neo-adolescent sleep-away camp, obsolete?

While I can appreciate the sentiment that facebook may have illuminated former classmates’ lives for all of us, it’s still a virtual imagined community and nothing more. I hesitate to ascribe to it the attributes of a 5-year-college reunion where you actually see and hug the people who have cluttered your NewsFeed. Even with the ubiquity of social networks, I don’t think anything can (or should) replace one-on-one interactions. Forgive the logical fallacy here, but the extension of that argument is dangerous — why bother making plans at all?

I dunno. Our college reunions are kind of blah, although I love reconnecting with folks. But our 40th high school reunion this June (M&A NYC) will be full of the hugs, kisses, and gooses, that were what we loved about being in meat space with our classmates in the sixties.

Facebook is still bad at making music together, having a drink together, changing consciousness together, and all that jazz.
Not an issue…

No social networking website will ever be able to replace face-to-face contact.

I think there’s one major difference that’s about to occur, though. The author is about to celebrate her five year reunion, but it’s likely that she wasn’t on Facebook at the time of graduation. I think that’s where some of this doubt is originating.

I’m only three years out of school (a proud Boston College alum), but I’ve been on the social network since its inception. Facebook has been a continuous network for me, and actually has kept me plugged into the campus social grid.

I’d argue that it changes the dynamic of alumni participation in a positive way. You’re keeping your emotional connection to school going, no matter how close or far from campus you may be. That makes it easier to justify a trip back to the alma mater or a donation. It helps you spend your reunion weekend commemorating with friends and skipping the “How did I know you again?” conversations.

The students even younger than me who came to college on Facebook already? Even a greater dynamic shift that will be fascinating to watch…

Although it’s true that online social networking sites keep us informed of our friends’ endeavors, it is not a substitute for the direct, physical, person-to-person interaction that bonded us in the first place. I know what many of my college friends have been up to, but I still miss seeing them. Having been to my 5-year reunion lately, I can tell you that having the “what have you been up to?” conversation over and over can be tedious–so maybe now that you already know the answer, you can have more meaningful conversations right off the bat.

This is a circular scenario.

As a university student, I don’t use Facebook (I may be the last one left), and I am liable to skip reunions for the same reason: neither brings or keeps me closer to my closest friends. If anything has come out of watching everyone else using Facebook, it’s that the quality of connections with the people who matter most in your life is subordinately as important as staying in touch with as many people as possible who matter much less to you (as a very early adopter of Friendster, Facebook’s direct ancestor, this ultimately played out and after a few years, the service waned).

So the same applies at a reunion. Unless every best friend in your life will also be reunion members, the quality of the face time is subordinate to sitting around a table or cozy fire with the people you’d give your own life if they were faced with a life or death situation.

I’ll pass on both.

Kathleen Hussein in Maine March 29, 2009 · 10:56 am

I’m on Facebook, but I’m reluctant to call it “Mark Zuckerberg’s invention.”

VG — 2004 Graduate March 29, 2009 · 10:58 am

Totally agree with Jenna. I mean, who wants to actually see relocated friends in person when you can just see pictures of them online? Makes total sense to me.

There is a fascinating blog on this subject, //www.alumnifutures.com, which is written by Andy Shaindlin. who happens to be the Executive Director of Alumni Relations at Cal Tech. This blog is followed by a significant number of alumni relations professionals around the country.

In addition to Facebook, //www.Linkedin.com has become an important factor in the networking role that college graduates are looking for.

Many college graduates are developing two online profiles; facebook, which chronicles their daily lives and Linkedin, where they look for professional connections, jobs and career advice.

One of the issues that will be developing through the growth of social networking web sites will be that the institution no longer has sole control of the message. Alumni can talk directly to each other and faculty and students.

A second issue will be that of the spontaneously organizing reunion. No longer will the institution be able to dictate the “right” weekend for the reunion.

Perhaps the most exciting area of growth will be in the area of networks that develop and self-identify online and that schools will be able to connect with. Data that was impossible to capture while someone was a student is easy to get when alumni self-disclose it online. I’m thinking that online groups that identify politics, religion, sexual-orientation, affinity to a favorite hang-out, or even a fan-club of a beloved professor become groups that the alumni relations professionals can work with.

Finally, you do a disservice by making it sound like the alumni officers are all about the money. Connections to alumni are more important to that: An alumnus who can help recruit, or helps connect his or her company to the school for hiring graduates can be even more important that cash support. Alumni relations has always been about connections and the professional will need to use these new tools effectively.

I definitely agree! Facebook allows you to reconnect, see pictures of high school friends, and even arrange for meetings outside of the reunion. I prefer to pick and choose who I’d like to see and connect with face to face. I have started accessing Facebook on my webtop more and more, as many of my high school friends are joining!

I disagree in a way. Because Facebook connects me with people I would have otherwise lost touch with, I’m actually MORE likely to attend reunions since I now want to see people I would have otherwise been indifferent about seeing.

So you sit alone in your house, clicking away on a computer.

Yeah, that’s real social interaction. Sounds like fun.

To quote the author: ‘ No thank you.’

I go to Princeton reunions to get hammered. Let’s see Facebook recreate THAT.

Jeffrey T. Guterman March 29, 2009 · 11:51 am

I just want to be one to share that Facebook has helped me reconnect with so many of my long lost high school and college friends. The point that Jenna Wortham makes, namely, that Facebook might reduce reunion attendance is well taken. On the other hand, whereas I have not attended any of my high school or college reunions in the past, now that I have virtually reconnected with many friends on Facebook, I am more likely to consider going to a reunion. //www.jeffreyguterman.com

I graduated from college in 1989. Obviously there was no Facebook – much less Internet – for many years after my graduation and we were stuck using old fashioned methods like letters and phone calls. I consider myself fairly computer savvy, and got on Facebook about 2 years ago when very few of my contemporaries were, but now many many folks from college, high school, programs abroad, as well as my current life are active users. Facebook has definitely been a tool that has encouraged folks to attend our 20th reunion (this May).

I do think there is a huge difference in desire to attend a reunion 20 years out compared to 5. Believe me, there will be many more life changing events that happen in those interim years that will take your further from your college years and contemporaries, and instill in you the desire to reconnect with them – in person.

In the last few years, I have given up on dealing with people in the real world. The virtual world is cleaner.

This article makes sense .. only if you live in a virtual world, and are comfortable in your skin doing so! Why bother going anywhere to see or learn anything when we have Facebook .. and the Discovery Channel?? Geez!!!!!

College reunions aren’t just about reconnecting with old friends. They’re also about reconnecting with old landscapes–the college campus, the natural areas around it, and, the houses/apartments/restaurants you might have experienced when you were there. Let’s not forget the importance of the places and landscapes we experienced in college and the memories they awaken.

You wouldn’t want to see these people in person, but you’re willing to get updates on them? Sad. Pathetic. I’d so un-friend you.